Dostoevsky

Ok, here I go:

He'll never find another like me. Whatever happened to loyalty anyways, the days when a man and his trusty chair grew old together? Who else has been there for him the way I have? I've been plopped down on after long days at work, treated savagely during drunken football celebrations and used for silly activities that I won't even describe with strange women because I'm a modest chair. What did that get me? A Monday morning date with the guys who wear orange vests and gloves while throwing unwanted old girls like me into the back of their stinky truck. I'm not sure where they will take me, but if I were a betting chair, which I'm not, my money says its not furniture heaven.

So here I am, out on the street like yesterdays garbage, which, sadly, is what I've become. Through the living room window I can see Jim and his new chair together by the fire, it makes me want to puke my stuffing out. I can't help but to think back on the days when being with me put a smile on Jim's lazy face. Now I'm being eyeballed by winos and and strange men driving by in vans like a two dollar ho. I hope they realize I'm not that kind of chair! I don't spread my footrest for just any man. What has that asshole Jim done to me? The injustice of it all!

Good times people, keep 'em coming. I look forward to next week!

-Dost

__________________
Pride is the recognition of the fact that you are your own highest value and, like all of man’s values, it has to be earned.


It is not advisable, James, to venture unsolicited opinions. You should spare yourself the embarrassing discovery of their exact value to your listener.

Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged