There is only a problem when your SO thinks you would rather be with the "objet de'sire" *rather* than them... When this is the case hope is lost.
Crushes are healthy - to pretend that your SO is the only person you can ever be atracted to is narrow-minded and dangerous... appetites shift, desires wax and wane, but your affection, affinity, and devotion are what's important... not just someone with whom you are attracted to. It shows that these base instincts of yours are functional... when you're with someone long enough the physical/sexual attraction isn't necessarily what keeps you drawn to that person... it takes deeper meaning. This is just exercise for your libido and imagination... nothing wrong with that... Dr. Ruth even says so... she's like the Yoda of Sexuality.
Now if you find yourself cheating on your SO with these crushes than maybe a monagamous relationship isn't really for you and you should re-evaluate.
|