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may i tell a story?
one morning, around 2:30 AM, i am awoken by the actual sound of my dog's explosive diarreah all over my room. im talking explosive. i lean over the side of my bed to double check, and there sure enough are black lumps scattered across the floor. i tiptoe to the lightswitch, sniffing my way through the maze of feces. what do i see? there are streaks of crap on my floor, one of which is about five feet long. the crap actually goes up the walls in some spaces, as high as two feet up (i told you i was talking explosive). there was also vomit scattered across the floor, apparently having happened before the diarreah. my room is carpeted.
there was absolutely no hyperbole in that story. you, sir, are lucky.
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