Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

Double D · 05-12-2003, 07:34 PM

I have deep sympathy and empathy for women with self-esteem issues. I've been there. I am there. Low Self Esteem dogs a lot of us. I hope that I didn't seem to imply that it would be an easy process to accept or love yourself as you deserve.

In my experience, not all men batter a woman's self-esteem. Too many do, yes, but not all. I think in many cases the woman was feeling like crap about herself _before_ getting in the relationship. Being in the relationship reinforces her low self- esteem and the cycle continues. Low self esteem's foundations are in the family a person is born into; the one you were raised in. Life experiences can enhance or negate this stuff.

It's really hard to be in a healthy relationship sometimes- when all you are used to is unhealthy ones. You have every reason to be happy, but the unhealthy bullshit justs keeps rearing it's ugly head.

And yeah, as you know, the process of not feeling like crap about yourself has gotta come from within you.
How do you get started? How 'bout just taking _one_ of the nice things that someone you trust says about/ to you - one of those compliments that you may accept gracefully, but inside a voice is saying, *It's not true.*
Instead of pushing the compliment away, try your damndest to believe it, if for no other reason than you trust the person who gave you the compliment. It sounds stupid, I know. But it's a matter of reprogramming the self-critical voice that we all have ( guys & women) to one degree or another. You have to keep doing it.

05-12-2003, 07:34 PM	#8 (permalink)
Double D Junkie Location: Chicagoland	I have deep sympathy and empathy for women with self-esteem issues. I've been there. I am there. Low Self Esteem dogs a lot of us. I hope that I didn't seem to imply that it would be an easy process to accept or love yourself as you deserve. In my experience, not all men batter a woman's self-esteem. Too many do, yes, but not all. I think in many cases the woman was feeling like crap about herself _before_ getting in the relationship. Being in the relationship reinforces her low self- esteem and the cycle continues. Low self esteem's foundations are in the family a person is born into; the one you were raised in. Life experiences can enhance or negate this stuff. It's really hard to be in a healthy relationship sometimes- when all you are used to is unhealthy ones. You have every reason to be happy, but the unhealthy bullshit justs keeps rearing it's ugly head. And yeah, as you know, the process of not feeling like crap about yourself has gotta come from within you. How do you get started? How 'bout just taking _one_ of the nice things that someone you trust says about/ to you - one of those compliments that you may accept gracefully, but inside a voice is saying, It's not true. Instead of pushing the compliment away, try your damndest to believe it, if for no other reason than you trust the person who gave you the compliment. It sounds stupid, I know. But it's a matter of reprogramming the self-critical voice that we all have ( guys & women) to one degree or another. You have to keep doing it. Last edited by Double D; 05-13-2003 at 01:27 PM..