Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Share Your Worst Break-Ups

avhg1 · 10-18-2004, 07:43 AM

Well it sounds as though we’ve all been through it, but I’ll share my worst as well. My senior year in high school, I’m working at this local store stocking shelves. I was dating a girl that I worked with and was good friends with another couple that worked there as well. To make a long story short, the other guy ends up breaking it off with his gf and starts seeing my gf. I’m not real broken up over that loss, but his ex is. On one of the nights I work with his ex (about 2-3 weeks later) I asked her if she wanted to go out for something to eat sometime. She said that she would like to and we actually found that we were quite compatible.

Things were great for the end of the senior year and summer, then she we to college about 30min away. (not the problem) We were seeing each other one night during the week and on weekends. Things were still good, except for her mother on the weekends. Talk about a controlling mother. I accepted it as wanting the best for your daughter, understandable. So the first year of college and summer go by okay. The next year is pretty much the same until Sept when we figure out that she’s about 3 and half months pregnant. That’s when the crap hits the fan. We told my parents and they were the best parents in the world about it. Offering to help so we could both stay in school and do anything they could. Next we tell her parents. Holy cow, her mother goes off the deep end. “How could you do this to me? How could you do this to this family?” Ranting and raving for at least an hour. Okay she is a bit surprised; I thought she would calm down, boy was I wrong!

What a nightmare, she was only allowed to see me at her house with supervision. Her mother started commanding every move. My parents offered to buy us a house so we could get married and give the baby the most loving environment possible. Her mom said no, so like the puppet she was, she said no. I couldn’t even talk to her about what was going on, because her mother was always with in ear shot to stop any conversations that started about us away from her. The worst part of it was that we got along great and she wouldn’t stand up to her mother at all. I asked her to marry me; I even tried to do it right by asking her parents. Things could have been very different if she would have just said “Mom, back off. I have to live my life and make choices for myself” Anyway I could go on for pages about the psycho things her mom did and said, including trying to trick me into signing away my parental rights to the baby, but it would be WAY to long for this forum.

Skip forward to October. We are in for a sonogram and find out there are all kinds of problems with the baby and even if it survived the next couple months it wouldn’t make it more than a day. So we have to decide to abort or go all the way. Well he died on his own and we didn’t have to make the choice. We did have to go through labor and I was there to support her all the way through it, much to the dismay of her mother, who at this point hated me more than the devil himself. So we go through a very rough week after the birth and the whole time her mother is trying to sabotage me every way she can think of.

Fast forward two weeks, I’ve had enough. It is time for a choice. I go to her house one night and say “I really care for you and I think we have a chance, but I can do it with your mother always telling you what to do.” She starts balling. I have never felt like such an a&%hole piece of crap. Of course her mother, being within earshot, comes in to save the day. She starts telling her daughter what a low life I am and how I never tried to do anything to support her, even though I offered to drop out of college to take care of the baby so she could finish school. So my final words to her were “Now is your choice, either tell your mother to go away so we can finish talking or give me the ring and I’m out of here” To finish the mother grabs the ring off her finger gives it to me and tells me to get the hell out of her house. By this point I’m crying myself because I hoped for a different turnout, but I left. Driving off, I see her looking out the door and then as the whole relationship went, her mother walks up, pushes her out of the way and closes the door.

I had a very hard time with everything. Losing my first son and fiancé was very difficult. The thing that got me through was my parents. During that period they were the greatest parents you could ask for. They gave as much support as I needed and didn’t push at all.

All things work out in the end. A month later, my brother thought I need to get back out into the dating world and set me up with a co-worker. To make another long story short (much shorter than the last) we’ve been married for 5 and half years with two wonderful little boys and two more on the way. I love my wife more than the world and even though there was a lot of pain, I wouldn’t change anything. The only thing I regret out of that whole situation is breaking my ex's heart, but it was really her choice to never stand up and make her own decisions.

10-18-2004, 07:43 AM	#56 (permalink)
avhg1 Insane Location: MD	Well it sounds as though we’ve all been through it, but I’ll share my worst as well. My senior year in high school, I’m working at this local store stocking shelves. I was dating a girl that I worked with and was good friends with another couple that worked there as well. To make a long story short, the other guy ends up breaking it off with his gf and starts seeing my gf. I’m not real broken up over that loss, but his ex is. On one of the nights I work with his ex (about 2-3 weeks later) I asked her if she wanted to go out for something to eat sometime. She said that she would like to and we actually found that we were quite compatible. Things were great for the end of the senior year and summer, then she we to college about 30min away. (not the problem) We were seeing each other one night during the week and on weekends. Things were still good, except for her mother on the weekends. Talk about a controlling mother. I accepted it as wanting the best for your daughter, understandable. So the first year of college and summer go by okay. The next year is pretty much the same until Sept when we figure out that she’s about 3 and half months pregnant. That’s when the crap hits the fan. We told my parents and they were the best parents in the world about it. Offering to help so we could both stay in school and do anything they could. Next we tell her parents. Holy cow, her mother goes off the deep end. “How could you do this to me? How could you do this to this family?” Ranting and raving for at least an hour. Okay she is a bit surprised; I thought she would calm down, boy was I wrong! What a nightmare, she was only allowed to see me at her house with supervision. Her mother started commanding every move. My parents offered to buy us a house so we could get married and give the baby the most loving environment possible. Her mom said no, so like the puppet she was, she said no. I couldn’t even talk to her about what was going on, because her mother was always with in ear shot to stop any conversations that started about us away from her. The worst part of it was that we got along great and she wouldn’t stand up to her mother at all. I asked her to marry me; I even tried to do it right by asking her parents. Things could have been very different if she would have just said “Mom, back off. I have to live my life and make choices for myself” Anyway I could go on for pages about the psycho things her mom did and said, including trying to trick me into signing away my parental rights to the baby, but it would be WAY to long for this forum. Skip forward to October. We are in for a sonogram and find out there are all kinds of problems with the baby and even if it survived the next couple months it wouldn’t make it more than a day. So we have to decide to abort or go all the way. Well he died on his own and we didn’t have to make the choice. We did have to go through labor and I was there to support her all the way through it, much to the dismay of her mother, who at this point hated me more than the devil himself. So we go through a very rough week after the birth and the whole time her mother is trying to sabotage me every way she can think of. Fast forward two weeks, I’ve had enough. It is time for a choice. I go to her house one night and say “I really care for you and I think we have a chance, but I can do it with your mother always telling you what to do.” She starts balling. I have never felt like such an a&%hole piece of crap. Of course her mother, being within earshot, comes in to save the day. She starts telling her daughter what a low life I am and how I never tried to do anything to support her, even though I offered to drop out of college to take care of the baby so she could finish school. So my final words to her were “Now is your choice, either tell your mother to go away so we can finish talking or give me the ring and I’m out of here” To finish the mother grabs the ring off her finger gives it to me and tells me to get the hell out of her house. By this point I’m crying myself because I hoped for a different turnout, but I left. Driving off, I see her looking out the door and then as the whole relationship went, her mother walks up, pushes her out of the way and closes the door. I had a very hard time with everything. Losing my first son and fiancé was very difficult. The thing that got me through was my parents. During that period they were the greatest parents you could ask for. They gave as much support as I needed and didn’t push at all. All things work out in the end. A month later, my brother thought I need to get back out into the dating world and set me up with a co-worker. To make another long story short (much shorter than the last) we’ve been married for 5 and half years with two wonderful little boys and two more on the way. I love my wife more than the world and even though there was a lot of pain, I wouldn’t change anything. The only thing I regret out of that whole situation is breaking my ex's heart, but it was really her choice to never stand up and make her own decisions. Last edited by avhg1; 10-18-2004 at 07:50 AM..