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When you say, "it helps when we're sleeping in the same bed," I have to ask if it's something simple as not being warm enough by herself. Sounds stupid, but it can be a factor. Does she have an electric blanket which she uses?
I know that if I'm not warm enough, I won't sleep, even if I don't feel obviously uncomfortable. But if I leave the heater on or put on a sweatshirt, I do a lot better. We don't use an electric blanket because while I'm too cold at night, my wife is too hot.
We finally developed a system that works: even when she's sleeping, if I tug on her arm, she'll roll over and spoon me and put one arm across my chest. Warm me right up. But on the rare occasions when she spends a night away, I have to leave the heater on or I won't sleep much. And we live in a mild climate.
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