Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - My husband doesn't have sex with me anymore

screamincheetah · 10-10-2004, 01:24 PM

I'll throw my two cents in on this...... I think the problem is way bigger than "jump on him when he walks in the door" or other show him you want him ideas. You've already said you initiate on a very regular basis, and that's what he said he wanted. I've been in a similar boat very recently. From the beginning of my relationship with my exgirlfriend, she wasn't as aggressive and sexual as I wanted. I did my best to be aggressive, and to show her the amount of love and affection she deserved, while hoping that she would catch on and do it back to me. At some point down the line, deep inside of me, I realized she wasn't going to ever truly make me happy. At that moment (in hindsight) everything switches. How I look at her, treat her, and respond to her. We're still okay and fairly happy, but it's changing, and nothing I do or say, or she does or says can get that back. Once the switch is thrown, in my experience, it's near impossible to switch it back. It's the same reason getting back together after a breakup doesn't work. The bubble's burst and there's too much insecurity. Back to this topic though, towards the end of the relationship, when I know she could tell I was distant and not as in to her, she became more affectionate and initiated more, but it didn't do anything for me. It's almost like I could tell she was trying, and that's a turn off. My guess is, he looked for something to be a certain way. At some point he gave up trying, and has probably given up a lot more in his mind and heart. I would definitely have a alcohol inspired (it's amazing what we say when we're drunk) heart to heart and get everything on the table, if you can. I would also be worried about the possible affair. I'm more stressed out than I've ever been in my life right now. I couldn't imagine being more, and I still get horny and want sex. Granted, it's a lot less than when I'm happy and carefree, but I still want it. I don't think a man who wanted all of the time, and now doesn't at all can be blamed on stress or medication. I think he's just given up.

10-10-2004, 01:24 PM	#24 (permalink)
screamincheetah Insane Location: Kansas City	I'll throw my two cents in on this...... I think the problem is way bigger than "jump on him when he walks in the door" or other show him you want him ideas. You've already said you initiate on a very regular basis, and that's what he said he wanted. I've been in a similar boat very recently. From the beginning of my relationship with my exgirlfriend, she wasn't as aggressive and sexual as I wanted. I did my best to be aggressive, and to show her the amount of love and affection she deserved, while hoping that she would catch on and do it back to me. At some point down the line, deep inside of me, I realized she wasn't going to ever truly make me happy. At that moment (in hindsight) everything switches. How I look at her, treat her, and respond to her. We're still okay and fairly happy, but it's changing, and nothing I do or say, or she does or says can get that back. Once the switch is thrown, in my experience, it's near impossible to switch it back. It's the same reason getting back together after a breakup doesn't work. The bubble's burst and there's too much insecurity. Back to this topic though, towards the end of the relationship, when I know she could tell I was distant and not as in to her, she became more affectionate and initiated more, but it didn't do anything for me. It's almost like I could tell she was trying, and that's a turn off. My guess is, he looked for something to be a certain way. At some point he gave up trying, and has probably given up a lot more in his mind and heart. I would definitely have a alcohol inspired (it's amazing what we say when we're drunk) heart to heart and get everything on the table, if you can. I would also be worried about the possible affair. I'm more stressed out than I've ever been in my life right now. I couldn't imagine being more, and I still get horny and want sex. Granted, it's a lot less than when I'm happy and carefree, but I still want it. I don't think a man who wanted all of the time, and now doesn't at all can be blamed on stress or medication. I think he's just given up.