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Though insecurity may be an issue for some, the *root of it* is respect or lack thereof. My belief is that if a man is in a committed, i.e. monogamous relationship with a woman, that he shows said woman the respect and courtesy of not making obviously overt glances of a sexual nature at any other woman than the partner he is in the company of.
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The problem with these arguments are predicated on the assumption that people are all the same. They aren't. Not every woman feels jealous or "disrespected" when men look at other women, and an excellent case in point is my ex girlfriend; she's bisexual and often emailed me pictures of women she thought were exceptionally hot.
Of course, you might say that this is just an isolated exception to the rule that most people feel the same way and want the same things, but it isn't, Double D. As another example, you define "committed" relationships as "monogamous" ones, but polygamy is perfectly acceptible throughout much of the world. For instance, "A survey of over six thousand women, ranging in age from 15 to 59, conducted in the second largest city in Nigeria showed that 60 percent of these women would be pleased if their husbands took another wife. Only 23 percent expressed anger at the idea of sharing with another wife." (From
http://www.polygamy.com/Islam/Myth-Reality-Polygamy.htm )
I hope you don't think I'm picking on you, Double D, as the idea that everybody wants the same things and feels the same way is fairly widespread:
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When you're in love, you don't even want anyone else.
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Killconey, are you sure that when I'm in love, I don't even want anyone else? I think you should be very careful before making statements like that! It's generally wiser to speak for yourself. I can believe that when you're in love, you don't want anyone else, but I've been in love with more than one woman at a time, and I've known women who have been in love with more than one man at a time. Not everyone is the same.
The most important thing in any relationship is to be flexible for your partner, listen to what they want from you, and tailor your behavior to the relationship. If I were with someone who found profanity unnerving, I'd try not to swear around her. If I were with someone who was insecure or got jealous easilly, I wouldn't look at other women around her.
In my current relationship, she likes to spend more time alone together than I would ordinarily, so I do my best to make time for her; and I really don't like passive women, so my girlfriend makes an effort to make decisions every now and again. Specifically regarding the subject of looking at other women, I certainly don't stop myself from looking at women when we're out. In fact, we're always pointing out attractive members of the opposite sex to one another. She certainly hasn't complained yet - although she does sometimes question my taste in men!
--Mark