|
I've had several HSP experiences, and they are indeed terrifying. If you've never experienced it, there is no way to fully describe the feeling. I usually sleep on my side, but there was at least one time when I "woke up" during a HSP episode and I was on my back. My eyes closed, I could nevertheless hear everything in the room, feel the sheets and blankets on my body, my wife lying next to me, etc. I knew I was "asleep", but I also felt mentally awake and alert. I could not move my body. I had a full-blown hallucination of a very large wolf lying in the bed, between my wife and I. I could smell its fur, feel and hear its breath, its weight on the mattress, etc. My left arm was deep inside its mouth, almost to the elbow, and it was slowly, calmly biting completely through my arm. Every one of my senses experienced this, and, at the same time, I knew I was asleep and hallucinating. I was utterly terrified, the knowledge that it wasn't real made no difference to my emotional response. With every ounce of strength and willpower I could gather, I began slowly moving my little finger against my wife's leg, trying to wake her up, so she could wake ME up and end the hallucination. As someone posted earlier, it took a herculean effort to be able to just move my little finger. Finally, she awakened with a start, which woke up me, and the entire hallucination peeled away, like a movie crossfading from one scene to another. I awakened, and everything in the room was exactly the same, except that the wolf was gone, and I was physically exhausted, and emotionally shaken. I've had several other HSPs, all quite different from this one, and each other. They're simply awful. Living with epilepsy must be very similar - a nightmare forever imminent, like death, a certainty that is sure to come, but without warning.
|