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Crack · 09-02-2004, 09:36 PM

*Sings*
Amish Paradise: to the tune of `Gangster Paradise`

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she’s very plain
But that’s just perfect for an amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning I’m milkin’ cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and jacob plows... fool
And I’ve been milkin’ and plowin’ so long that
Even ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I’m a man of the land, I’m into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1699

We been spending most our lives
Living in an amish paradise
I’ve churned butter once or twice
Living in an amish paradise
It’s hard work and sacrifice
Living in an amish paradise
We sell quilts at a discount price
Living in an amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really don’t care, in fact I wish him well
’cause I’ll be laughing my head off when he’s burning in hell
But I ain’t never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An amish with a ’tude?
You know that’s unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree
I really look good in black... fool
If you come to visit, you’ll be bored to tears
We haven’t even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain’t really quaint, so please don’t point and stare
We’re just technologically impaired

There’s no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like robinson caruso
It’s as primitive as can be

We been spending most our lives
Living in an amish paradise
We’re just plain and simple guys
Living in an amish paradise
There’s no time for sin and vice
Living in an amish paradise
We don’t fight, we all play nice
Living in an amish paradise

Hitchin’ up the buggy, churnin’ lots of butter
Raised a barn on monday, soon I’ll raise anutter
Think you’re really righteous?
Think you’re pure in heart?
Well, I know I’m a million time as humble as thou art
I’m the pious guy the little amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin’ points for the afterlife
So don’t be vain and don’t be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie

We been spending most our lives
Living in an amish paradise
We’re all crazy mennonites
Living in an amish paradise
There’s no cops or traffic lights
Living in an amish paradise
But you’d probably think it bites
Living in an amish paradise

Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch!

09-02-2004, 09:36 PM	#8 (permalink)
Crack Misanthropic Location: Ohio! yay!	Sings Amish Paradise: to the tune of `Gangster Paradise` As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain I take a look at my wife and realize she’s very plain But that’s just perfect for an amish like me You know I shun fancy things like electricity At 4:30 in the morning I’m milkin’ cows Jebediah feeds the chickens and jacob plows... fool And I’ve been milkin’ and plowin’ so long that Even ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone I’m a man of the land, I’m into discipline Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine Then tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1699 We been spending most our lives Living in an amish paradise I’ve churned butter once or twice Living in an amish paradise It’s hard work and sacrifice Living in an amish paradise We sell quilts at a discount price Living in an amish paradise A local boy kicked me in the butt last week I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek I really don’t care, in fact I wish him well ’cause I’ll be laughing my head off when he’s burning in hell But I ain’t never punched a tourist even if he deserved it An amish with a ’tude? You know that’s unheard of I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat And my homies agree I really look good in black... fool If you come to visit, you’ll be bored to tears We haven’t even paid the phone bill in 300 years But we ain’t really quaint, so please don’t point and stare We’re just technologically impaired There’s no phone, no lights, no motorcar Not a single luxury Like robinson caruso It’s as primitive as can be We been spending most our lives Living in an amish paradise We’re just plain and simple guys Living in an amish paradise There’s no time for sin and vice Living in an amish paradise We don’t fight, we all play nice Living in an amish paradise Hitchin’ up the buggy, churnin’ lots of butter Raised a barn on monday, soon I’ll raise anutter Think you’re really righteous? Think you’re pure in heart? Well, I know I’m a million time as humble as thou art I’m the pious guy the little amlettes wanna be like On my knees day and night scorin’ points for the afterlife So don’t be vain and don’t be whiny Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie We been spending most our lives Living in an amish paradise We’re all crazy mennonites Living in an amish paradise There’s no cops or traffic lights Living in an amish paradise But you’d probably think it bites Living in an amish paradise Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch! __________________ Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex. ~Halx Last edited by crackprogram; 09-02-2004 at 09:39 PM..