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I feel for you. I wish I didn't, but I really do feel your pain - that story makes me laugh and cringe at once, and I hope your foot vagina from hell does not develop tentacles and start molesting schoolgirls.
I will step lightly and carefully on my way home today, avoiding any significant changes in elevation, and using the handicapped ramp instead of stairs when possible...
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You do not use a Macintosh, instead you use a Tandy
Kompressor break your glowstick, Kompressor eat your candy
Kompressor open jaws, Kompressor release ants
Kompressor watch you scream, Because Kompressor does not dance
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