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This sounds far too much like an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.
This wouldn't have happened to me just because I don't have a high enough tolerance for annoyance. But if it ever did I'd be sure to stake my claim on everything the second he got there: both armrests would be mine and I'd probably take up so much leg room that he'd have to sit with his legs closed and moved to the side to accomodate for all of my leg room. And I'm even more of an asshole on the bus/train.
Just be glad he didn't offer free tix to the show in his pants.
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"Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian
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