Man, you crack me up
Few people have the talent of taking the most everyday, mundane occurances and making it hilarious. I certainly don't
Don't feel bad - it doesn't happen often, but something similar happens to everyone at one point or another. I don't remember details, but I can tell you that once or twice bugs have flown into my mouth as I rode my bike when I was younger, or the time a bird, out of nowhere, took a crap on my hand as I stood talking to a friend, or then there's the time I was driving at about 55 MPH, with the driver's side window open, and somehow a large bug flew in and smacked me on the face. Hurt like hell.
Anyways, don't feel alone, but keep telling your funny experiences