gondath

The purpose of this thread was not aimed at whether kids should have the right to consider doing the dishes or not. I'm directing this at more major decisions which could affect their lives.

Lets stay on the dishes for a moment. The assumption, for me at least, is that the kid has already been told which responsibilities are his. They already talked about it, so it is reasonable to assume he does the work assigned to him. The only comment needed by the parent is if the duties seem unfair compared to the other children.

I don't think obeying first and questioning later makes sense when curfews, dating, etc. are involved. It's not the child job's to puzzle through a situation if his parents are limiting freedoms to the extent that they interfere with his life. I don't know where the burden of guilt started getting put on children, but this is specifically the dangerous trend the title refers to. Almost every posted automatically assumes the parent is right from the beginning, and we're only talking in hypotheticals here. It's the major rules that have the most effect and warrant the most discussion. Also, younger children are mostly exempt because they don't have a very good sense of what's going on to begin with. At 18, you are far old enough to have a conversation with your parents. If not, something is wrong. After all, in the US, you have to register for the "privilege" to go off and die in a foreign country. The term child is very loose and has been used to describe people from birth to age 24. I may have used child or kid but not as a demeaning term or to be imply they are any less intelligent or capable than those older than them.

Respect for authority has mixed messages. I think the person should learn to respect both the one in charge and the task, but the former only if he continues to make good decisions. This requires an investment on both parts. All minors should have some work responsibilities to get them used to regulating time.