Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - "The bane of left-handedness" (Mum, 2004)

Lunchbox7 · 05-27-2004, 07:30 PM

Further to your recent advice regarding the downtrodden masses of "clumsy", "sinister" and "gauche" people, it was with a great deal of pleasure that I noted yesterday, whilst watching "The Muppets Christmas Carol" that the world-famous and extremely talented actor Kermit The Frog is, in fact, left-handed. Mr The Frog is clearly seen, in his character of Bob Cratchet, writing up the ledgers of the evil Ebenezer Scrooge whilst holding the quill in his left hand. He joins such amazing people as Albert Einstein, Paul McCartney, Michaelangelo, Alexander The Great and Josephine Martin in the world of the left-handed.

It concerns me, in this Twenty-First Century, that discrimination of left-handedness still persists. It is a mere 40 years since I had my hand tied behind my back by Sister Emerita in a vain attempt to make me write with my useless right hand, just like a "normal" child. We, unfortunately, live in a right-handed world and I believe that it is time that the plight of the left-handed student is given attention. Just try writing in a ring binder, with the rings in the way of your hand, making writing painful as well as difficult; or writing in the last half of an exercise book where the previously used pages form a hump which impedes your ability to write; or using ink where your hand moves over the just-written writing before the ink has a chance to dry creating huge smudges all over your page; or doing an exam where all the pages are stapled in the top left corner thereby making review and editing difficult; or writing on glossy paper which creates the same problem as using ink referred to above; or sitting in those miserable tutorial seats with a writing surface attached to the side on the right side.

Left-handed people suffer these difficulties every day of their lives! Of course we're bloody clumsy. WE'RE USING TOOLS AND SYSTEMS DESIGNED BY AND FOR THE EXCLUSIVE USE OF THE AUTOCRATIC RIGHT-HANDED PEOPLE OF THE WORLD.

For example:
Most can openers are designed for use exclusive by right-handed people. I was in my thirties before someone invented and marketed a standard can opener (i.e. the Magican) for use by all.
Many cutlery knives have serrations on the right side of the blade only, making it difficult for us to cut our meat as we have to twist the knife and cut in an unnatural posture.
Most proprietary medicine bottles have the instructions printed sideways on the label, in the direction that makes it immediately readable to right-handed people's natural way of picking it up. We lefties usually have to stand there with our wrists twisted around and distorted just so we can see how much cough medicine to take.
The curse of the lefties life - scissors!!! These have certainly been designed by Satan himself. The difficulties and pain associated with getting your fingers stuck in the hole that is made solely for a thumb turns what should be a simple task into a challenge. The damn things are built back-to-front.
Dressmaker's scissors are even worse. The curved blade which is designed to slide under the fabric and therefore make an exact cut (as required) is of course on the wrong side of the blade for we lefties. I have been sewing for thirty years and I still cannot cut fabric with a neat and exact seam allowance, which makes it impossible for the finished product to have a tailored look.
Using one of those buckets with the rollers to squeeze the excess water out - the metal slice that you stand on to hold the bucket down whilst you pull the mop up through the rollers is on the wrong side!!
Most irons are constructed with the power cord coming out of the right-hand side of the iron - so we lefties actual iron over the power cord, thereby reducing it's life and increasing the risk of electrocution.
Ironing boards are constructed for right-handed people. The bend in the legs which allows you to sit down while you iron is bowed, so that when we lefties have to turn the ironing board around so we can use it cannot lower it and sit down to iron as the bowed legs prevent us from getting close to the board, thereby requiring us to bend forward and curve our upper backs - leaving us in danger of developing a "widow's hump".
Saucepans with a "lip" for pouring the hot contents out into a colander or other such object have the lip positioned in accordance with the saucepan handle being held by a right-handed person. We lefties just burn ourselves!!
The numbers on a computer keyboard are on the right-hand side, which requires we poor lefties to enter digits with our non-dominant hand. This is a huge problem if you are doing any accounts-type work.
I could go on and on and on and on...........suffice to say it is an ABSOLUTE BITCH living in a right-handed world. LEFTIES OF THE WORLD UNITE!!! STAND UP AGAINST OUR OPPRESSORS AND SHOUT "I'M FED UP AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANY MORE!! STOP PUTTING THE MECHANISM CONTROL ON OUR LAZY-BOY RECLINERS ON THE RIGHT SIDE - PUT IT ON THE LEFT SO WE CAN USE IT!!"

05-27-2004, 07:30 PM	#1 (permalink)
Lunchbox7 Addict	"The bane of left-handedness" (Mum, 2004) Further to your recent advice regarding the downtrodden masses of "clumsy", "sinister" and "gauche" people, it was with a great deal of pleasure that I noted yesterday, whilst watching "The Muppets Christmas Carol" that the world-famous and extremely talented actor Kermit The Frog is, in fact, left-handed. Mr The Frog is clearly seen, in his character of Bob Cratchet, writing up the ledgers of the evil Ebenezer Scrooge whilst holding the quill in his left hand. He joins such amazing people as Albert Einstein, Paul McCartney, Michaelangelo, Alexander The Great and Josephine Martin in the world of the left-handed. It concerns me, in this Twenty-First Century, that discrimination of left-handedness still persists. It is a mere 40 years since I had my hand tied behind my back by Sister Emerita in a vain attempt to make me write with my useless right hand, just like a "normal" child. We, unfortunately, live in a right-handed world and I believe that it is time that the plight of the left-handed student is given attention. Just try writing in a ring binder, with the rings in the way of your hand, making writing painful as well as difficult; or writing in the last half of an exercise book where the previously used pages form a hump which impedes your ability to write; or using ink where your hand moves over the just-written writing before the ink has a chance to dry creating huge smudges all over your page; or doing an exam where all the pages are stapled in the top left corner thereby making review and editing difficult; or writing on glossy paper which creates the same problem as using ink referred to above; or sitting in those miserable tutorial seats with a writing surface attached to the side on the right side. Left-handed people suffer these difficulties every day of their lives! Of course we're bloody clumsy. WE'RE USING TOOLS AND SYSTEMS DESIGNED BY AND FOR THE EXCLUSIVE USE OF THE AUTOCRATIC RIGHT-HANDED PEOPLE OF THE WORLD. For example: Most can openers are designed for use exclusive by right-handed people. I was in my thirties before someone invented and marketed a standard can opener (i.e. the Magican) for use by all. Many cutlery knives have serrations on the right side of the blade only, making it difficult for us to cut our meat as we have to twist the knife and cut in an unnatural posture. Most proprietary medicine bottles have the instructions printed sideways on the label, in the direction that makes it immediately readable to right-handed people's natural way of picking it up. We lefties usually have to stand there with our wrists twisted around and distorted just so we can see how much cough medicine to take. The curse of the lefties life - scissors!!! These have certainly been designed by Satan himself. The difficulties and pain associated with getting your fingers stuck in the hole that is made solely for a thumb turns what should be a simple task into a challenge. The damn things are built back-to-front. Dressmaker's scissors are even worse. The curved blade which is designed to slide under the fabric and therefore make an exact cut (as required) is of course on the wrong side of the blade for we lefties. I have been sewing for thirty years and I still cannot cut fabric with a neat and exact seam allowance, which makes it impossible for the finished product to have a tailored look. Using one of those buckets with the rollers to squeeze the excess water out - the metal slice that you stand on to hold the bucket down whilst you pull the mop up through the rollers is on the wrong side!! Most irons are constructed with the power cord coming out of the right-hand side of the iron - so we lefties actual iron over the power cord, thereby reducing it's life and increasing the risk of electrocution. Ironing boards are constructed for right-handed people. The bend in the legs which allows you to sit down while you iron is bowed, so that when we lefties have to turn the ironing board around so we can use it cannot lower it and sit down to iron as the bowed legs prevent us from getting close to the board, thereby requiring us to bend forward and curve our upper backs - leaving us in danger of developing a "widow's hump". Saucepans with a "lip" for pouring the hot contents out into a colander or other such object have the lip positioned in accordance with the saucepan handle being held by a right-handed person. We lefties just burn ourselves!! The numbers on a computer keyboard are on the right-hand side, which requires we poor lefties to enter digits with our non-dominant hand. This is a huge problem if you are doing any accounts-type work. I could go on and on and on and on...........suffice to say it is an ABSOLUTE BITCH living in a right-handed world. LEFTIES OF THE WORLD UNITE!!! STAND UP AGAINST OUR OPPRESSORS AND SHOUT "I'M FED UP AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANY MORE!! STOP PUTTING THE MECHANISM CONTROL ON OUR LAZY-BOY RECLINERS ON THE RIGHT SIDE - PUT IT ON THE LEFT SO WE CAN USE IT!!"