Kids...can't live with them, can't sell them on the black market....(just kidding - I love my little ones 

 )
Here's a few things I've learned...
1.  Once you hear the toilet flush and the words "oh oh" - you are already too late.
2.  Crayons and microwaves do not mix well.
3.  Fish CAN over-eat themselves to death when fed the whole damn thing of food.
4.  "Twanging" a door stopper can provide hours of amusement for a baby (especially if one has a headache/hangover).
5.  Dirt is good.
6.  Flushing the toilet is fun (see rule #1).
But the best thing I learned.....
The words I love you are the sweetest in the world!