World's King

I’m not voting in the upcoming election.

And I’m gonna tell you why… and I’m only doin’ that because it’s Sunday night and I have shit else to do with my time because all the liquor stores are closed and I don’t wanna sit in a bar.

So, for the past few years or so I’ve been toying around with the idea of a new type of protest that I could attempt to execute against our currant Government. But then I realized that every form of protest has already been done and none have worked. But then I realized again that I didn’t only want to piss off our currant group of retards with bad hair. I wanted to get the word out to everyone that has ever held office and was ever thinking of holding office. And after drinking away any good ideas I had come up with I realized that I’m only one man and couldn’t change a fucking thing from the floor of the bathroom. And even more. I couldn’t careless about who was in office or what they’re doing. As long as they don’t fuck with my way of life then I’m just gonna sit and watch everyone else get all up in arms about things that have no bearing to their everyday life. Save the Whales? You live in fuckin’ Wyoming.

This is when I came up with my idea. Don’t fuckin’ vote. Don’t have anything to do with the political system at all. Completely ignore it. But only until we don’t have to choose between the lesser of two or three evils. Let’s look at our currant race for office. Bush Vs Anti-Bush. See, Kerry has no name or platform… he is simply running as Anti-Bush and hoping it works. And Bush isn’t running as anything. He’s simply Anti-Everything that might have a bigger dick then him. Which is why he doesn’t want lesbians to get married. So, we have two people that want to run our country that don’t really have any new ideas. It’s the typical “He is evil so vote for me “ Vs “I’ll beat cha ass ma’fucker… I know people…”

I don’t want someone to run my country that is banking on the other guy fuckin’ up so he wins by default. Ignore the other guy and run as yourself. Say how you feel on the subject and not what the money in your pockets thinks. And I have very little faith in that happening any time soon. Which is why I’m not gonna vote. See, I know it doesn’t make much sense right off… not voting means you don’t have the right to bitch about the state of the world. Yeah. I won’t. I don’t care. And once enough people stop paying attention to the form politics is in now… it will have to change. Me voting for Kerry or Bush will not change a fuckin’ thing. Neither one of them has a fuckin’ clue how to run a country. Bush couldn’t even run a good baseball team. And Kerry was getting high with Jane fuckin’ Fonda. I know it looks like I’m just being hard to please… this isn’t the case at all. I’m very easy to please. You should see most of the porn I like. As long as she has one eye and most of her teeth. I’m good.


I’ve already put my plan into effect. I’ve been talking to people around town and on the Net about why I’m not voting and why they shouldn’t vote as well. And the main thing people keep saying is, “No Vote, No Voice.” And I say, “I’ve seen your father naked.” I’m not worried about not having a voice. The way I see it is that I’m using my voice by shutting the fuck up. The silent treatment. We all get it from our mothers and we all know how bad it sucks. I think we should all give the Government a collective silent treatment. We’ve spent how many years now yelling and bitching and not a fuckin’ thing has changed. In fact it’s gotten worse. And what does that tell you all… ? Change ma’fucker. Change.

And I would love to death to be the one that started some sort of back-ass-wards revolution that involved on Election Day staying home and watching The Godfather Trilogy.

So let’s look at what might happen if we get instead of 20,000,000 new voters this year we get 20,000,000 to not vote. But se we can’t just not show up and expect them to understand why. As far as they know we were all getting high behind a 7-Eleven. And most of us will be. We have to tell them why. They have to know just how bad they suck. So, say we don’t vote and throw a protest that involves little to know work what-so-ever. See, we can’t show any effort or it makes it look like they are worth our time. And as we know… they aren’t. It’s how we deal with crying kids. Distracted them or ignore them. When no one shows up to the voters boxes and the election was decided by a few old Jewish women in Miami that can’t turn their TVs or Computers on they will realize where they went wrong. And then that’s when the power comes back to our hands. I’m just sure of it.


And all in all you know that no one will ever fallow what I say. Vote if you wish but any vote for or against Bush is a wasted vote. The whole country is in the shitter and they put us there. So why would we want to have more of them in charge. See, in Denver we voted in a new Mayor last year that had never held any sort of office and had never really had anything to do with politics. And Denver is now on it’s way out of the shitter. John Hickenlooper is the best thing to happen to Denver since the Rocky Mountains. Okay, so I know that not all stories like this are good. I seem to remember a wrestler that was in charge somewhere… I don’t really wanna talk about it. See, if we wanted to choose the best option for President we would have to vote for Ralph Nader. And that just makes me laugh. No, it really does. I know he’s a good man and did a lot for something that has to do with this country but all in all… he’s kind of creepy. Now, I did vote for him last time around and am kicking myself in the nuts everyday for it. The only reason I voted for him last time was for his slogan plastered on the side of his bus. “Bush and Gore make me Ralph.” Isn’t that classic? Not only does he not have a single opinion that matters but he thinks he’s gonna win on the base of a really fuckin’ bad pun. This man has to tell me what to do for the next four years. This time around we don’t have anyone else to vote for as a joke after a night of pre-election drinking. Unless you wanna vote for Kerry so your friends can say, “Who?”

All in all. Don’t vote. It’s not worth you time. When the country is still in the shitter after Bush leaves you’re gonna feel like a retard. At least for me I can say, “I’ve seen your father naked.”

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heavy is the head that wears the crown