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Dude, you just need to ask her if she has ever had an orgasm. Just ask her. Period. Don't let up til she starts talking to you about sex. Tell her you will accept anything she tells you about her sexuality. Make her feel safe and get her to talk to you. You might need a marriage councilor. If she won't go, you should go alone.
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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.
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