Did you even read my post above?
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there is a BIG difference between resorting to violence and self-defence. If someone jumps me and starts pounding on my head, there is no reason to lie there and take it...
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...this would naturally extend to my family as well. Don't be stupid. I would takes steps to ensure the invader stops. I certainly wouldn't be happy about it though. The whole situation would suck.
That said, we are talking about children here...
The point I am trying to make is that there are better ways for a child to stand up to bullies than resorting to violence. In my experience, fighting back against a bully means that he comes with a friend next time. So what should happen? Well, I'll go out and get two friends and so on and so on... Escalation of violence solves nothing.
Because I don't think violence ever solve anything does not mean that I don't think violence can sometimes be necessary. If I call on the police for assistance is that not just out sourcing a violent response?
To add to who's responsibilty it is to raise a child... Yes, it is the parent's job. No question. However, a school must also take some responsibility. You child spends more time at school than they do with you, their parents.
There is a shared responsibility here. I do not know what my child is up to when at school and I rely on the teacher and principal of the school to inform me if there is a problem. Together we would try and correct the problem.