I think there is a difference between self defense (or sticking up for your self) and resorting to violence. In my mind the difference is in the intent. Resorting to violence is more like what the bully does.
I was always taught to avoid the fight and to not hit first unless I had no other choice. That being said, there are times when fighting back is a necessity. Especially when it will cause you less harm in the long run. Ex: sticking up for yourself in school. You don't fight back in public schools and then the other kids will pick on you more.
Then there comes the gray line between self defense and assault. IMO stabbing someone with a pencil is overkill. Weapons should never be involved.
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