John Henry

My girlfriend and I split up on Saturday. We had been together for about a year and a half. It was kind of a mutual decision, but she seemed to be more in favour of it than I felt I was. We parted on good terms and we were both very upset, but basically there was just something missing and had been for a while.

We agreed, at my suggestion, that it would make things easier for both of us if we didn't contact each other for the first few weeks, although we agreed to stay friends. The day after I got back, she actually phoned one of my friends to ask how I was and told him she didn't want to phone me for fear of getting my hopes up (ouch!)

I now really want to contact her, but I don't know if it's a good idea, but I'm having difficulty concentrating on my work because of it and I feel it might help sort my head out.

It was the first real relationship I'd ever had and I'm having difficulty getting over it. The only things I've tried so far are drinking and ignoring the problem. I've talked to my friends about it and most of them have drawn a blank. I don't hate her and I don't really want to, so what's the best way to get over her? Is a rebound a good idea? Should I keep talking to people about it or will that just drive away all my friends and keep me dwelling on her?

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"No one was behaving from very Buddhist motives. Then, thought Pigsy, he was hardly a Buddha, nor was he a monkey. Presently, he was a pig spirit changed into a little girl pretending to be a little boy to be offered to a water monster. It was all very simple to a pig spirit."