I happen to agree with Averett on a lot of what she's saying.
You can not have this much hidden from you SO if you expect that to be the right kind of relationship. You should have told her immediately about this.
I believe Averett is also right to point out these things to you. She did it rather harsh, which is proven to be effective.
I believe that you're cheating on her in that you're going through so much effort to keep this hidden from her. WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS SO HUGE? Big deal, you've got a crush on some other girl, TELL your GIRLFRIEND OF FOUR YEARS about it.
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Samurai in Training
Knowledge is power. Guard it well.
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