View Single Post
Old 04-29-2004, 07:46 PM   #18 (permalink)
MSD
The sky calls to us ...
 
MSD's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: CT
Imagine a society in which pants did not exist and undergarments were a thing of the past. With our intimate parts constantly exposed, there would be many a change. In addition to holding our heads high, men would be holding their hips forward to maximize the visual impact or their organs.

Chapped lips, dry hands, scaly skin, all come from exposure to the elements. With weather exposure comes thick skin and lack of sensation. What a sad world it would be if people started to suffer from chapped penis and wrinkled vagina from walking around. I suspect that whole new lines of products would pring up to protect our genitals from the elements. I can see the headlines now: "Make your vagina look ten years younger!" "Keep your dick as smooth and shiny as the day you were born!"

In the summer months, all sorts of hairstyles would spring up. For the clean-shaven, shiny, possibly blinking jewelry would be the fad. For those who chose to go au natural, dreadlocks and corn rows would gain popularity. Younger folks who aren't ready for the commitment of a piercing could buy clip-on rings and stick-on sutds in order to decorate themselves and see the shocked looks on the faces of their mortified parents.

ChapStick stock would double or triple every winter. Men would be purchasing fuzzy tube socks by the dozen every October. Women would be able to choose from a variety of coverings ersembling an umbrella with a knitted canopy. The more conservative among us would opt for old-fashioned thongs, briefs, or boxers. Heated butt plugs would keep you feeling warm and toasty inside during your long walk or drive to work.

The habit of neglecting genital hygeine would disappear. Due to exposure, any odor would be immediately noticable, and promptly attended to. Like unwashed armpits, unwashed nether regions would be frowned upon by society, members of which would not tolerate a person whose below-the-belt area emitted an unpleasant odor. Of course, odor and irritation in that region would be less of a problem, as the free airflow would whisk away bacteria-breeding moisture.


So, after describing our future utopia free from the tyrrany of the clothing manufacturer, I must ask you, in the words of Homer Simpson, Don't you hate pants?
MSD is offline  
 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360