fuzyfuzer

hope this isn't a repeat couldn't find it in a search

How to speak about women ... and be politically correct:

- She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

- She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

- She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

- She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

- She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

- She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

- She does not GET YOU EXCITED - She

causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.

- She is not KINKY - She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER.

- She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.

- She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

- She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

- She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

- She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

- She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

- She is not a S_UT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

- She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

- She is not a TWO BIT WH_RE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

How to speak about men ... and be politically correct:

- He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE SYSTEM.

- He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

- He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS

- He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

- He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

- He does not act like a TOTAL ARSE - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

- He is not a SEX MACHINE - He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED.

- He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.

- He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

- He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES - He has an INTROSPECTIVE GRAPHIC MOMENT.

__________________
"The difference between commiment and involvment is like a ham and egg breakfast the chicken was involved but the pig was commited"

"Thrice happy is the nation that has a glorious history. Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat." Theodore Roosevelt