lurkette asked me about this offline this afternoon... Guess it's time for me to weigh in.
I disagree completely with those who have said, basically, that sexuality is only a little part of who you are. Sexuality is central to who you are. Everywhere you go, you carry your sexuality with you. You're more or less a slave to it most of the time. And I think if you're hiding it or being suppressed about it, it's going to have suppressive effects on the rest of your life.
Now. All that said, I think we're dealing with two very different things. On one hand, there's coming out. Letting people know you're bi. I think most people these days (including your family, and probably including my family) could handle that just fine.
On the other hand, there's letting people know we're having an affair with our best friends. That's a harder thing to have people understand. Your sister gets it because she plays similar games with her friends. I'm very surprised our friend Lesley was okay with it (though I'm not entirely sure she is 100% okay). I'm pretty sure my parents couldn't understand that. My brother could, maybe. Do you really think your mom could? I'm not so sure.
Don't know if this helps any, but it's my two cents.
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