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* Email client: Microsoft notes that OpenOffice lacks an email client. This, however, would take us to Mozilla, which is a standalone web browser with more features than Internet Explorer (such as tabbed browsing), and is much more secure than Microsoft Outlook as a default.
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Even if I didn't dislike Microsoft's business practices and even if I didn't like open source software, I wouldn't touch Outlook with a 10 foot pole. WAY too insecure.
Not to mention, OpenOffice is different than a lot of open source projects because it is not modular. Nonetheless, E-Mail is not really an office app, and thus is not included. There's a huge likelihood that someone using OpenOffice may want to use a different e-mail client. There's far less likelihood that they'll want to use OpenOffice's word procesor and not the spreadsheet program.
As for downloading, I'll give you that. But no one's trying to convert you specifically. Most businesses have high speed connections. If something's not right for you, don't use it. So, with a dial-up connection, perhaps OO.o isn't right for you. I would ask though, what's worse, waiting an hour for a free, fully functional office suite for personal use, or paying hundreds of dollars for it simply for the convenience of saving an hour?