Parents' death - how old were you?

I was thirteen when my mom died and it freaks me out a bit that I'm older now than she was when she died.
To be honest it probably screwed me up in a whole bunch of ways that I probably don't really even understand now but I made the decision to live my life in a way that I thought she would be proud of me.

 

I was in my 30's when my dad died.
You're in the "acute phase" of loss and grieving. I think much of that phase is "common" or shared amongst most people.
What floors me is how even now almost 20 years later I have these moments when a whole bunch of father related thoughts or emotions will just pop into my head. I hadn't expected that. Nor do I know if it happens to other people.
I truly wish my dad had lived to meet his granddaughters.

 

I was 30 when my mom died, and 40 when my dad died. I'm older now than my mother was when she died.

In the mental health world (my wife is a therapist), they have a saying, It's a tough world out there. Lots of people have lives that would make us embarrassed to complain about our small problems. Here's a guy whose mother died when he was 18, and he's never recovered.

 

Both my parents are still alive, in their 70s (I'm 45), but when I was in my late 20s my then wife lost her father. It wasn't a shock, as he'd been ill for some time, but it was still a huge realisation about mortality

 

My dad died at age 48, I was 19. My mom died at 59, I was 33. I wrote about my mom's death as it was occurring under the old tfp. My dad was only a few years older than I am now. Also, both of my parents died of cancer. I don't want to have either of my now 5 year daughters to see that. They were both good people, and too young.

 

My father died when I was in my late 20s. It was horrible.

My mother is still alive. I expect she has many more years left. The women in her family are long lived.

 

I was 51 when my father passed away, my mother is still alive.

 

30s. My father died unexpectedly while I was away at work. He had been sick and nobody (not even my mother) had told me.

My family isn't/wasn't very close so I don't get the "honoring the memory" thing. We were... strangers. I was alone a lot.

His death didn't really shock me so much as it was a disappointment. We never got to catch up after I became a Real Man.

 

I was 45 when dad passed, 51 when mom passed.

 

I was 21 when my dad died...then my mother died the following year when right after I turned 23.

Fuck cancer.

I named my daughter after my mother. Had she been a boy, his middle name would have been my father's.

It has been 10+ years since they've passed. I still think about them on a daily basis. and honor them just by

 

Im 37 and my Dad passed away 2 weeks ago yesterday.

I cannot imagine going through this as a teen or younger. It has not even fully sunk in yet, all the ways family life has changed.

I know he's at peace, but fuck cancer. And fuck death.

My sister and I picked out mini one-of-a-kind, handmade wooden urns from the peach state. The rest of him we plan to take a sister's trip to spread the rest of his ashes.

Here's my urn:

 

While my father's death was a shock (suicide is not painless) I had a similar relationship. Wasn't especially close, was just beginning to understand how he might feel. I had just become a father, was approaching my 30s and getting my shit together. So much unsaid.

 

Yeah. I've had so many "Man, I can't wait to email him about..." or "I could use some advice on..." I guess the other part is the approval thing. He never really saw me hit my stride. I've got a good woman, a nice house, cool hobbies and most of the things that one might consider a part of Real Success.

 

ditto. I was 26, my dad was 56, he died suddenly the year that my girlfriend and I were planning our wedding - for when she graduated from university. My mother is still alive. We moved our wedding date to the same day as their anniversary. I am now a couple of months older than my father was when he passed away. But life styles of our generation are a far cry from that of those who grew up during the war years. The biggest impact has been no smoking.

 

Please accept my condolences for your loss. My father had a heart attack on, of all days, father's day. He never really recovered and passed away 6 weeks later.

Time won't really heal you, but it will give you some perspective. Hang in there.

 

Not hitting my stride... exactly. One of the last conversations I had with him, the weekend before he died, we were talking about my University career. He had always dismissed it as a lark (supported by my mother's belief that it was a waste of time - longer story here). He had no idea that I had received mostly A grades. When he died, he didn't get to see where my career (only just starting) would take me. I think of him often as I travel the world.

 

My mother died 2 weeks before my 4th birthday. My father never recovered, became an alcoholic, and drank for 18 years before developing cirrhosis and lingering another 7 years, dying 25 years to the day after my mother's death, 2 weeks before my 29th birthday.