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Genie grants you three wishes, what are they?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by DRP967, Aug 28, 2011.

Page 2 of 3
  1. CaptainBob

    CaptainBob Slightly Tilted

    Location:
    Kingston, eh?
    1 - to be 35 years younger
    2 - for my sweetie to be 35 years younger
    3 - about 25 million dollars in a secure bank somewhere making about 6 to 10 % interest
     
    CaptainBob, Aug 29, 2011
    #21
  2. ring

    ring ░

    uh...the wisdom to be careful about what I wish for?
    I guess first off I'd have to pin down the genie on his definition of grant.
     
    ring, Aug 29, 2011
    #22
  3. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    Are you wishing for a legally binding contract?
     
    Baraka_Guru, Aug 29, 2011
    #23
  4. Plan9

    Plan9 Rock 'n Roll

    Location:
    Earth
     
    Plan9, Aug 30, 2011
    #24
    • Like Like x 1
  5. DamnitAll

    DamnitAll Wait... what?

    Location:
    Central MD
    Paraphrased from someone/somewhere, but you get the idea.

    I wish only for the ability to reach my goals and realize my potential, instead of wasting them both.
     
    DamnitAll, Aug 30, 2011
    #25
  6. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member

    Location:
    Nebraska
    1) Grant that every woman automatically become sterile after bearing her third child.
    2) After the first, if that child is borne before the woman is eighteen years old.
    3) Grant me, Lindy, the wisdom of Warren Buffett.

    That's all, folks.

    Lindy
     
    Lindy, Sep 5, 2011
    #26
  7. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    It's a good thing you didn't do this back in the early '70s, Lindy, because then I wouldn't exist.
     
    Baraka_Guru, Sep 5, 2011
    #27
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member

    Location:
    Nebraska
    Sometimes what is good for the whole is not good for the individual parts thereof.
    And LOL!!!:D Ironically, if that had been the regime in the early seventies, I wouldn't exist either!

    Lindy
     
    Lindy, Sep 5, 2011
    #28
  9. XAZY

    Xazy Vertical

    I think the answer for no more wishes is to wish for a different genie that can grant wishes as your last wish.
     
    Xazy, Sep 6, 2011
    #29
  10. Seer666

    Seer666 Getting Tilted

    To be able to speak the Martian language from Stranger in a Strange Land
    To be able to teleport any where in the world I want at will.
    That no matter how old my kids kids get, they are never "to big" for hugs.
     
    Seer666, Sep 6, 2011
    #30
  11. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    This whole deal is mind-boggling.

    I don't need three wishes. I only need one: I wish I could execute my own damn wishes.

    *Arnie voice* Fuck you, genie. I'll do my own damn wishes.
     
    Baraka_Guru, Sep 6, 2011
    #31
  12. DaeHanL

    DaeHanL New Member

    Location:
    Cincinnati, OH USA
    To have the exact amount of money I need at any time, simply by reaching in my pocket.

    The ability to teleport myself and objects/people I'm touching

    perfect health for my loved ones and me.
     
    DaeHanL, Sep 6, 2011
    #32
  13. Cayvmann

    Cayvmann Very Tilted

    Location:
    Central North Carolina
    I don't know, but I'd probably wish for the exact wrong thing the first time, unwish it for the second, and wish I hadn't done that for the third.
     
    Cayvmann, Sep 7, 2011
    #33
  14. Doris

    Doris Getting Tilted

    1. Get a lucrative divorce.
    2. Give ex-hubby the most gorgeous new wife/wives.
    3. Make him impotent for the rest of his life.

    Juusst kidding.

    Do I have to believe in genies in order for this to work?
     
    Doris, Sep 7, 2011
    #34
  15. Remixer

    Remixer Middle Eastern Doofus

    Location:
    Frankfurt, Germany
    No, Doris.

    The US family law combined with a sudden stroke caused by the stress of the financial loss will grant you two of your wishes. The third will be granted, if you leave him bedridden but with enough money to spoil a 20-something golddigger.

    As Eddie Murphy said: "HALF!"
     
    Remixer, Sep 7, 2011
    #35
  16. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    A man rubs a lamp and a genie appears.

    GENIE: You have freed me from the lamp. As your reward, I grant you three wishes!

    MAN: I wish for unlimited wealth!

    The genie bestows upon the man vast wealth that builds upon itself indefinitely.

    GENIE: Granted.

    MAN: I wish for eternal youth!

    The genie bestows upon the man immortality.

    GENIE: Granted!

    MAN (smirking): I wish for unlimited wishes!

    GENIE (also smirking): Granted.

    The genie opens a time warp and reverses time by one minute.

    A man rubs a lamp and a genie appears....
     
    Baraka_Guru, Sep 7, 2011
    #36
    • Like Like x 2
  17. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member

    Location:
    Nebraska
    One of the most clever and funny things I've read in a long time.:D

    Lindy
    The next thing I say to you will be true.
    The last thing I said was false.:confused:
     
    Lindy, Sep 8, 2011
    #37
  18. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    My head assplode!
     
    Baraka_Guru, Sep 8, 2011
    #38
  19. ALABAMAMAN

    AlabamaMan New Member

    Location:
    Marion, Alabama
    1. To find true love again
    2. To live a comfortable, healty, and long life(atleast into my 90s)
    3. For my children to have the same.
     
    AlabamaMan, Sep 8, 2011
    #39
  20. Tophat665

    Tophat665 Slightly Tilted

    Location:
    NoVA
    Aight, I'll bite:
    1) Youth and perfect health for myself and one other for as long as I desire.
    2) The love of that one other.
    3) As much wealth as I want whenever I want it.
     
    Tophat665, Nov 1, 2011
    #40
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