Wife went and bought some light BDSM - now what?

Hello,

Long time TFPer lurker here but was away for a while during the upgrade. Nice to be back.

So recently my wife went and ordered some sex toys. We have a few assorted items typical - couple of vibrators, dildo, etc. In this case she went and bought a mouth gag, a collar and leash, a large dildo, and under bed restraints. She's also started to imply she wants to be spanked and starts calling me 'master' or calling herself 'slut' during sex.

Now I'm no idiot and I get the gist of this. I'm just not sure how to proceed with this new-found interest. And she's too shy to talk about it outside of sex. I'm not the dominating sort of man so I'm looking for some sort of guidance.

Thanks!

 

My guess is she's been reading "50 Shades of Gray"

My advice is to indulge her. See where she wants to go with it. If it's further than you want to go, tell her but it sounds like she probably just wants to play with it a bit.

The sort of toys she's come home with are not anything hardcore and don't require real dominance or submission. Just try and have fun - a little role playing is all that's required.

 

Oh, god bless that pop culture shit lit. Mainstream mommy smut ahoy!

That and when a woman comes home with restraints and a disembodied rubber dick bigger than his own, a man may wonder if he's giving the old lady what she really wants. Not that spicing up the old sex life is a bad thing, but it's weird when one partner switches the style up so dramatically.

...

Prof,

If she ordered the new toys, I'd suggest she's gone beyond the "thinking about it" stage and obviously wants you to indulge her whimsy with a little slappy-slappy chokey-chokey. Go for it. Just remember to use a safe word. Seriously. Nothing worse than forgetting the safe word thing. You end up doing new stuff and people get excited and suddenly it's not fun anymore. Then she's going to work all saddle sore and you've got bruises on your face.

 

what do i rekon?

make sure you have a good excuse when a work colleague asks you why you have bruises around your wrists.

if its fun and safe, why not try something out of your comfort zone. you may actually enjoy it.

 

You might want to search from some bdsm stories online. Read up on what's possible

Get a safe word, something she can say that will snap you out of it while you are spanking her ass.

Then have at it.

 

"Smoke a joint, drink a bottle of wine, whatever it takes to get off on each other...I would get down on all fours and bark like a dog." Billy Crystal, Analyze This.
She'll have to talk about it at least a little before getting down to brass tacks. .....And leather cuffs..... A safe word has to has to HAS TO be established before the games begin. Or, I guess, a safe gesture, if one of you can't talk at the moment. Remember that it is a game; things can get fairly intense, but it's still supposed to be fun. You'll be playing a character, so if the safe word is invoked, get out of character immediately. Don't bury yourself in guilt for pushing too far. Relax into it, have fun with exploring your deviant side.

Oh, and do be clear from the onset whom is supposed to get the business end of the new dong.

 

or hard to remember


Hello, Prof, Pleased to meet you.

"I'm not the dominating sort of man so I'm looking for some sort of guidance."

OK. Safe words IS a very good thing to get sorted. You can't signal 'T' for time out when tied up.

Having expressed my phrase of support on that score, I'll have a go at creating my own two cents: Given your 'not the dominating sort of man', then think of it as YOU being 'ordered' by HER to go in certain directions. I put it to you, Prof, that she is giving you the guidance you need. She's provided you with the correct forms of address and also the gear to put her in. . She's 'ordering' you to call her slut, and also to insist on her calling you 'master'. If, shortly after calling you master, she calls you 'Dear' or 'Prof', try chastising her:

"Slut! What is the correct form of address?" Or if you want to draw it out, then somethig like "What are you?" "WHOSE slut are you" "... and what am I?" (Master)

When by yourself, practice generating 'masterish' phrases.
"DID I say you could look me in the eye? Well did I?????"
"Yes??? .... Yes WHAT?" "Yes master" "That's better"

Practice saying it like you mean it. Solo practice makes it less likely to end up in a spluttering giggle, or some parody what has both partners buckling at the knees with mirth. Lisping "Master" ain't cool. "Thlut" doesn't hit the spot, either.

I believe "Yes, master, thank you master" may well be a good phrase for her to learn.

I just had a thought ..... you say she got a collar and leash. Well, the implication is that you should put it on her. Then maybe lead her around the house, with or without the gag.

My main point is that I reckon she's probably giving you all the specific hints you need, and that you'll only need a smigeon of imagination to extend them.

Literotica dot com has erotic storied sorted acording to category, and their bondage and S/M section has plenty of reasonable master/slave conversations.

Best wishes, and please share what you discover

 

Read whatever book she's getting this from and try to act like the main character... I think there are instructional videos on porntube.

I'd be glad if my wife was just curious about anything sexual. She's a bit repressed.

 

Yo, TheProf... any word on how kinky things got?

The only thing better than posts like this are updates. As a man without genitals, I must live through your stories.

Gives me an idea for a song... "Vicarious Penis."

Heh.

 

Wow sounds like fun, I love restraining but not being restrained, i'm a mover, I can't stay still for long and would gnaw through them to get out. A lot of people have threatened to gag me but have never succeeded lol.
Make sure you don't get too carried away when your spanking her, a light pink colour is nice and warming on the skin, but if her arse is glowing like an orb you probably went a bit far. I wouldn't use the ball gag in the beginning either as she can't say the safe word and you don't want your teeth knocked out when she smacks you one for ignoring her pleas.
Would love to know the update too

 

so...I've been waiting for an update