Whitney - looking for a new man

Would you want it? How can an adult behave that way.
Wife videoed having a HUGE tantrum (Contains swearing)

 

I hope she at least has the decency to be humiliated by her behavior.

And I hope she doesn't have any children...ever.

 

Her parents must feel very proud.

 

She is throwing a tantrum but he is a complete shit. The way he talks to her is completely disrespectful. I get the feeling that this has happened a lot. Yes she can't handle it but he knows exactly what he is doing and he is looking for that response. He isn't trying to solve the problem, his idea of winning is to break her. She doesn't know how to fight but he fights dirty. I know because I have been there. I know what happens when you don't respect your partner anymore. She needs help to learn how to deal with conflict, but he needs his ass kicked. I feel sorry for her.

 

I would have thought that this was a fake 'viral' video that they created to get their 15 minutes of fame.

I want to go to the lake too. The tires can be rotated another day. I would side with her, except for the cigarettes.

 

I'm pretty sure she has been disappointed by him before. My soon to be exwife and I had some nasty fights and it hurts to watch this. This wasn't a one time thing, I guarantee this has been going on for a long time. I doubt they would have married if either had started out like that.

 

He very well could be a complete shit but this video could also be an indication of where he is now with her, after dealing with a spoiled child for how ever many years they were married. It could be that he doesn't care anymore about acquiescing to her childish demands, being patient with her tantrums or engaging emotionally at her level. It could be he's had it and is videotaping a sample of what he's had to put up with for anyone who might question how he could leave a great catch like Whitney. The fact that he videotaped her and put it up on Reddit was a sure sign he was done with her and the marriage. He wanted to make sure there was no going forward with Whitney, in the event she tried to smooth things over with him later, as I suspect she probably has a habit of doing.

I know, because I've been there too.

Could he have been kinder about it? Probably, but the Whitneys of the world are more apt to regard kindness as weakness and use it to their advantage.

But let's face it. This couple's marriage cannot be summed up in a video. Who was the real culprit here? Him, her, both of them? It's pure guesswork on anyone's part.

 

This. He has the advantage of knowing he's being recorded, so he's keeping his cool. Who knows what he's said in previous fights? We are just getting a small slice of big shit-pie that was their life together.

 

For all we know he might have privately beat her on a regular basis. Big white guys who shave their heads are prone to that sort of behavior.

/ducking

 

We are not in disagreement about her, I just think he is also part of the problem with his smarmy holier than thou tone. I just want to make sure that he is noticed as well.

 

Maybe she should have videotaped him in his worst moment then (which this probably wasn't).

This one was all about her.

 

I thought girls had other methods to fight with and get their way? How often does this kind of thing happen in 'normal' relationships?

 

Good points. They are both at fault here, in my opinion, but, as you said, it's impossible to sum up their marriage with just this video.

She has learned that her tantrums often get her what she wants. There is no other compelling reason that a 30-year old woman would engage in that sort of behavior unless she has benefitted from it in the past. He, at one time in their relationship, probably thought her tantrums were endearing. He is clearly egging her on in this video, attempting to evoke even more hysterics, but he's also quite patronizing to her.

She acts like a child, and he treats her like one.

She's immature and manipulative. He's condescending.

 

If this kind of behavior (shown by both parties) is any more than a one off occurrence in a normal'relationship, I'd say the couple has no right to consider themselves in a normal relationship. Though, rather than normal, I prefer the word healthy.

And we're not discussing the behavior of 'girls.' If Whitney and James were 15 year olds I might chalk their behavior up to immaturity and inexperience, a stage of development where getting one's way by any means is almost a rite of passage. By the time a man or woman reaches 30, one would expect them to have learned that getting one's way in a relationship is far less important than the relationship itself. That compromise is more effective than temper tantrums. An emotionally healthy Whitney would not allow a condescending James in her life and if he happened to be in it, she would not let his behavior get the better of her. Likewise, an emotionally healthy James would never have entered into or stayed in a relationship with a woman so emotionally stunted.

Sadly, I think there's a lot of James and Whitneys out there. Do I care all that much about them? Not really, but it's depressing (and a bit frightening) to know that most of them are raising children.

 

People were asking questions about him at work. I think he took advantage of a bad situation and made a video, attempting to make him look like a saint and her look like a child. She acted extremely immature, but taping her in her moment of weakness and putting it online made him a grade-A asshole in my book, especially if Baraka_Guru is correct in assuming that she does have a personality disorder. I've lived with similar, having a depressed friend who creates as much drama as possible for everyone around him, and what he did was not at all the right way to deal with something like that. I think that they're both at fault, and obviously make a terrible couple.

 

I know a couple kind of like these two. Awesome.

 

Depending on who you talk to, we all have personality disorders.

 

I saw the video and shared it with my co-workers. We got a laugh out of it (at face value). But for the record... He did promise her the lake, and he did change the plans. Now that does not make it ok for her behavior. But it shows where he is/was at with her. He knew what buttons to push to get her there.

But her behavior is way off the hook. No adult (that is illegal drug free) should act like that. She is college educated, and seems to have come from a respectable family, i.e. spoiled child.

They were obviously toxic together, and the best for both is to cut their losses.

 

I told you that in confidence.

Now I'm going to have to strangle another puppy.

See what you make me do?