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What type of dirtbag parent do you have to be...

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Borla, Mar 27, 2015.

  1. Borla

    Borla Moderator Staff Member

    ...to complain because a kid with Down Syndrome and autism is wearing a Letterman jacket at school?

    Special needs student told he can't wear varsity letter jacket | Prep Rally - Yahoo Sports



    Okay, I'm one of those guys who hates "participation trophies" and the idea that you are supposed to pretend that every kid is good at everything they try. For little kids, and for gym class, sure, be strictly encouraging and helpful and try to build a love for sports, teamwork, and exercise. But once kids are in Junior High, and especially High School and beyond, the kids who have the skill, talent, and abilities should be reasonably allowed to excel. IMO, there are life lessons to be learned in NOT making the team, NOT being the star, or being told that "hey, maybe you should try something else". Those things are part of life too. Sometimes you lose, sometimes you are bad at things, sometimes you don't get what you want. Such is life, and the sooner you learn it, the easier the transition is likely to be.

    BUT, there is a limit to that line of thinking as well. And I think some idiot who either takes themselves, their kid, or high school sports WAY to seriously jumped over it like Fonzi on water skis over the shark.

    The kid has Down Syndrome and autism. No one is going to confuse him with your starting point guard. He DOES play high school sports. Other schools in the same district (rightfully IMO) allow members of the special needs teams to proudly display their letters on school jackets.



    Give it a rest.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  2. omega

    omega Very Tilted

    Who's to say he's not on the varsity special needs team? What a crock of shit. I hope the varsity player is pretty embarrassed by his mom's actions.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  3. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    Yeah, this story just pisses me off. I lettered in varsity lacrosse and several activities during high school. Personally, I feel that there are ways for this kid to get a real letter besides being a varsity athlete or buying one. There are any number of activities that also result in letters, y'know? Couldn't the school have shown a little flexibility in the matter, especially since there is no district policy in place? Instead, now they look like assholes.

    Side story: my students are often shocked when I tell them that I lettered in seven different things in high school. "You must have the coolest jacket!" they proclaim. I then tell them that I don't even remember where half the little decal things that were supposed to be put on my athletic and activity letters went. Hell, I never even put my activity letter on my jacket. Now it just hangs up side-by-side with my husband's letterman's jacket. My students asked me to wear it to Homecoming. I passed.
     
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  4. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North
    It's like those people who are against gay marriage because they are afraid it will denigrate the importance of their own.
    This twat of a mom decided that by this kid with special needs having a varsity jacket is denigrated the jacket of her special snowflakes jacket.
    Why if people saw them standing next to each other they might think the two boys were the same, the shock, the horror, this must be fixed right away.
    Who cares if I come across like a like a complete quimferret?

    Not that the athletes are always that much better.
    When I was in high school when of my friends in the drama group discovered that you could actually letter in drama through the Thespians a group we had kept alive mostly just so we could use the name.
    So he got the letter and a letter jacket to put it on, which annoyed the hell out of jocks.
    Now I have to admit he got the jacket for just that reason because unlike all the kids on Glee my friend had been doing American Kenpo for six years.
    After a couple of confrontations they left him alone.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  5. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    Hey, I lettered in drama. That one was a little harder than choir. I had to fill out a form and document all the time I'd spent working on our shows that year. For choir, my director just passed out the letters one day.
     
  6. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member

    Location:
    Nebraska

    In my high school an athletic team varsity letter was something the was awarded to a select few. I don't remember the exact criteria, but it required a certain level of participation, time on the field or court, etc. It was not a "participation" award, and the boy (or girl) who just held down the end of the bench didn't get a letter. The letter was given to the player at a school awards convocation.

    Anyone could buy and wear a school jacket (or sweater) but you couldn't just go out and buy the letter that went on the jacket, that had to be presented to you.

    I think the mom (Jolinda Kelley) was out of line to think she could go out and buy the jacket and letter just because she thought her son "deserved" one. I don't think that is right.
    THE FACT THAT HER SON IS SPECIAL NEEDS REALLY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

    Mom went out and, in effect, bought her son a trophy.
    And that does devalue the other lettermen's awards.

    At the honors convocation I got a letter in band. I worked hard, sat first chair as a junior, had led sectional rehearsals. I played in three small ensembles. I practiced an hour a day, learned a second instrument, collected old and passed out new music. I worked hard both in and outside of rehearsals.

    Way down at the bottom of the section sat Britnee. She never practiced, didn't know her part, was often late, played out of tune, etc.
    If Brit had come in wearing a letter just like mine but that her mom bought for her, I would've been pissed.

    But I would not have expected my mom to fight that battle for me, either.
     
  7. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North


    Yeah, it actually wasn't easy to letter in drama.
    You had to be a member of the Thespians for 3 years which would put most people in their junior or senior year.
    You had to have done five plays and since we only did three a year that meant you had to be very active.
    There was the form with a sign off by the head of the thespians (which was easy because it was him) and the teacher sponsor.
    Most of the rest of us just got our letters and skipped the jacket part.
     
  8. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    Here's the thing, though: in the adult world, how much do you really value the letters you earned in high school? For me, they are little more than a fun fact to tell my students. I've done much more interesting things since. I understand that for some, that varsity letter in football is all they'll ever do, and that is very sad.

    Letter requirements vary widely by school and by activity. If lettering is an exclusionary thing at a school, the school is doing it wrong. Letters are meant to encourage student participation in activities, plain and simple, and to reward that. I had a discussion on Facebook regarding this piece after a friend from high school posted it. It was interesting, because several of the people who replied were people I went to high school with, and while we did have overlapping activities, some of us didn't, yet we all had letters; over the course of the discussion, it became clear that our high school did an excellent job of using lettering to be inclusive.
     
  9. omega

    omega Very Tilted

    I'm surprised kids still want letterman jackets. They always look so old and outdated.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  10. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    Lots of kids skip them these days. At the high school I work at, I can count the number of letter jackets that I see on a daily basis on one hand.
     
  11. Borla

    Borla Moderator Staff Member



    I completely grasp the idea that the mother of the special needs kid technically, by unwritten high school rules (or I guess written in this case) shouldn't have bought him the jacket and letter.


    I just think calling the school and having it confiscated, considering the student involved, is drastic overkill.
     
  12. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
    The douche parent aside, my kid is more special than yours syndrome.

    Why do we want to devalue the hard work and effort that someone puts in by lowering the bar?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    It's not lowering the bar. It's using a different bar. This is how it works everywhere else in education--accommodations and modifications as necessary to ensure students have access to a free, appropriate public education. The bar remains the same for those who can achieve that.
     
  14. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member

    Location:
    Nebraska
    It's a different bar only if a different award is used. If the existing award is more widely distributed, then it is lowering the bar.
    Was not the necessary accommodation made when a special needs basketball team was created to accommodate Michael Kelley and others?
    And is lowered for those who cannot?

    Except for the Watusi bar, of course, which would be raised to accommodate?;)

    Well, yes, I agree, but you and I are looking through the lens of hindsight. The highschoolers don't have that lens. To those teenagers and their parents those awards have great importance.
    Truly. In high school I knew a boy whose only goal was to have the fastest car truck in Dodge City, Kansas. Twenty years later, different truck, same goal.:(

    Is rewarding exceptional effort and accomplishment automatically exclusionary? Are letters to encourage, or are the a reward for accomplishment?
     
  15. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
    So fast forward to the adult world. Merit increases should be the same right? That's fair isn't it?

    People put in different amounts of effort and get the same low raise. How do you motivate to become excellent?

    Performance bonuses are more tied to something not equal. Why should everyone get that same bonus?

    It isn't fair for those that achieve to devalue the achievement by lowering the requirements.
     
  16. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North


    Slippery slope dude.
    Not the same at all.

    We're talking about a kid who is stretching himself and accomplishing something remarkable for his skill set.
    Is recognizing it for what it is wrong?
    It kind of makes him the team mascot which brings up a bunch of other issues but we won't get into that.
    Wearing the same jacket as his friends, as the kids he works with and respects does not devalue the fucking jacket it just means he's part of the group.
    This is more of a case where he's one of the Jets and not that he 'earned' the letter in the conventional sense.
    Besides if Leonidas had let Ephialtes wear the damned jacket maybe they could have held out longer against the Persians.
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2015
    • Like Like x 3
  17. omega

    omega Very Tilted

    Fine, let's talk about those who deserve letters. Letters should only be for people who actually played a sport. Band? No. Theater? No. Choir? No. Chess and debate? No. Mathlete? NO! I lettered in cross country,swimming, and lacrosse. Real sports. That kid is playing basketball. A real sport. Even he knows that he is not playing varsity. But he is still proud to have a letter. So stop devaluing my accomplishments with your non sport letters. Shoe, meet the other foot.
     
  18. Charlatan

    Charlatan sous les pavés, la plage

    Location:
    Temasek
    I find the whole letterman thing odd. We don't do stuff like that in Canada (at least the part where I'm from).
     
  19. Plan9

    Plan9 Rock 'n Roll

    Location:
    Earth
    Basically...

    Listen, if I can't prop up my fragile ego with society's precious status badges and put a one-time qualification over developing expertise, I'm just not sure how happy I can be in life.

    /Maxxx Butthurt
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2015
    • Like Like x 3
  20. omega

    omega Very Tilted

    And that is why America is full of winners.

    I'm kidding.
     
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