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What are you comfortable loaning to friends?

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by snowy, Jul 27, 2015.

  1. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    This is inspired by something seen elsewhere, in which a lady loaned a Naked 3 palette (a $54 eyeshadow palette from Urban Decay, for you makeup n00bs) to a friend, who returned it basically destroyed, with multiple pans shattered completely and a scuff on the top. Now, eyeshadow pans that are cracked can be re-pressed, but these were mixed in with other colors, and therefore impossible to repair to the original state.

    And I thought, I would never loan my makeup to a friend. I love my friends, and I know that they are respectful people, but my palettes are valuable. I would be out a lot of money to replace them; the cheapest one of the bunch is still $22.

    There are plenty of other things I would loan to my friends, things that aren't nearly as valuable and more easily replaced. We loaned a set of tools to our friend and next door neighbor just a couple of weeks ago. I loan books out. We've loaned bottling equipment for brewing and canning supplies. I wouldn't let my friends borrow my electronics (unless it was my cheap-o old dumbphone and they needed one) or some articles of clothing.

    What do you let friends borrow? What wouldn't you let them borrow?
     
  2. Borla

    Borla Moderator Staff Member

    This varies widely by the friend and the item.

    Some of the questions I ask myself before considering loaning something are:

    1) Do they have the ability to replace it if they ruin/lose it?

    2) Would they replace it if they ruin/lose it?

    3) How well do they take care of their own stuff? How likely are they to use and care for the item properly?

    4) Are they generous to others? For instance, would they loan something like this to others if they had the ability to?

    5) How valuable is the item? The importance of the answers to the first three questions above is impacted by the answer to this.


    I have a handful of close friends that I'd let borrow almost anything. Certain things like guns, my motorcycle or other vehicles, and other potentially dangerous things are likely to only go to very close friends/family who know how to be safe with them.

    Less pricey/dangerous stuff I'm pretty open to lending out.
     
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2015
  3. RedSneaker

    RedSneaker Very Tilted

    I will loan anything that I can live without. People are bad to break and/or keep loaned items.

    At least thats been my experience.

    And never money. That's just begging for trouble. Gift, perhaps.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  4. Borla

    Borla Moderator Staff Member



    Never loan money you can't afford to lose, for sure.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  5. Levite

    Levite Levitical Yet Funky

    Location:
    The Windy City
    I actually seldom get requests to borrow things. But I make it a policy to try and have an extra copy or two of some of the books I recommend most often to people, so that I can lend them upon request, and so that I don't lose my copy and/or become annoyed if the one lent is not returned.

    If it were something particularly breakable or valuable or of great sentimental value, I probably wouldn't loan it to a casual acquaintance, or someone I knew to be a chronic absconder with the goods of others, or someone otherwise patently untrustworthy to keep or replace goods (someone with an active addiction problem, for example).

    But otherwise, I would certainly lend to close friends and family, and have lent books, pictures, ritual objects, CDs, DVDs even iPods (all back in the day), and so on.

    With money, I never ever lend it to anyone. If a close friend or family member needs some and I have it, I simply give it to them without expectation of repayment. If it's a casual acquaintance, and they are truly in need, I give what I reasonably can without expectation of repayment. To a lesser degree, same if it is a relative stranger. But I don't make loans. If I have money and someone else needs it, I give it, or as much as I can. Because I truly feel that's what people should do. And that goes double with close friends or relatives, when I believe that we all should unstintingly help those we love, and that it is counterproductive to enmesh into a relationship of love (romantic, familial, or friendly) something all too likely to attach strings to the love.
     
  6. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member


    Same, but I think that's the English teacher in me.

    I need to invest in another omnibus of The Lord of the Rings.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Plan9

    Plan9 Rock 'n Roll

    Location:
    Earth
    Take whatever you want.

    I know where you live.

    ...

    What @Borla said.

    Details, context, etc.

    I'm really, really bad at sharing.

    ...

    Doesn't seem to apply to money, though. I have loaned money to numerous friends over the years. I usually get it all back.
     
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2015
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Charlatan

    Charlatan sous les pavés, la plage

    Location:
    Temasek
    I don't get asked either.

    I have loaned people one of my bikes. I only expect to get it back clean and in one piece.
     
  9. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North
    I never loan out anything I can't afford to not get back.
    Money is always going to be considered a gift, if they can pay me back fine, if not also fine.
    I press books I love on people so there's that.
     
  10. amonkie

    amonkie Very Tilted

    Location:
    Windy City
    I have loaned out books and movies that I have never gotten back - usually in breakups gone wrong, where the hassle of getting it back isn't worth it, despite how much I love what it was. lesson learned - I frequent used bookstores a LOT and grab extra copies there.

    I have lent a lot of various things for different animal rescues I am involved with. It may seem trivial, but the costs do add up. I probably have $1,500-2k in pet supplies between crates, carriers, litter boxes, bird cages, etc. Those I definitely keep track of, often times volunteering to do something myself so that I can ensure my equipment comes back.
     
  11. Stan

    Stan Resident Dumbass

    Location:
    Colorado
    Like most folks here, it depends.

    My brother is the only one that has ridden my motorcycle, he let me try his $30k Harley.

    I get asked to borrow my Tacoma pretty frequently, I usually offer to help, instead.

    Books, I lend. Movies and music can be copied.

    My daughters are actually the worst offenders.
     
  12. Lordeden

    Lordeden Part of the Problem

    Location:
    Redneckhell, NC
    Books and movies I will lend at the drop of a hat (mainly books as no one borrows movies anymore).

    I have let good, close, personal friends borrow money. That said, I took collateral for the loan. Last time I let someone borrow $300 bucks and took their sword they just bought for $400 a few months ago. He could either pay me back or let me have the sword. He paid me back.

    I wouldn't let someone borrow a car for more than a car trip (local, not long distance). That's because I only have one car and it makes me money.

    I think when it comes down to it, if I was better off than I am now, I would be more inclined to loan someone a item/money/thing-a-doo-hichey. I'm better off than most of my friends but not better off than family. So I rarely get asked for things. Mainly servicing of computers, which I don't give out for free (beyond a 5 minute lookie over) but heavily discounted depending on how much I like you.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. POPEYE

    POPEYE Very Tilted

    Location:
    Tulsa
    I never ever ever loan money. I will loan my 20,000$ truck before I loan 100.00$ just to keep feelings in good standing, money is always a gift.
     
  14. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Never books again, they don't return them often.
    And I care about my collection.

    Cash is fine, small amounts I don't worry if they give back or not.
    Everything is up for grabs.
     
  15. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member

    Location:
    Nebraska
    Last week I loaned our Husqvarna lawn mower (came with the house - no real idea of its value) to the twenty-something stud muffin across the street. He had left his mower out on the driveway over night a couple of weeks ago and it got stolen. He just wanted to make his yard look nice 'cause his GFs parents were coming to visit. He's been a good neighbor, and last winter would often sno-blow the whole block on his side of the street.

    I kept a close eye on his tanned shirtless torso and cute muscular butt him while he mowed but then had to leave.

    He returned it the next day all cleaned and washed and even washed and scraped the crud off the underside. I'd sure loan it to him again.:)
     
    • Like Like x 2
  16. DAKA

    DAKA DOING VERY NICELY, THANK YOU

    20 something studmuffin, watched his tanned...................................... so, if the mower was not returned, was the "show" worth it?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  17. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & be quiet.

    Location:
    Large City, TX
    My loaned her Gemeinhardt flute to a friend for her daughter to use while her flute was being overhauled, and while they shop for her a better quality flute. She needs to get in back because it's an advanced collegiate student/semi-pro model (solid silver and not cheap), and the girl is a high school student (that's not say she hasn't taken good care of it, but you never know).
     
  18. Street Pattern

    Street Pattern Very Tilted

    That reminds me of the time I was house-sitting for my father and stepmother, who were on a long trip.

    This was the grungy old house I grew up in. My stepmother was new to it, and constantly trying to fix it up and make it nice.

    My father had a ton of valuable photo equipment, and she was paranoid about the awful possibility of leaving the house empty even one night.

    So, one weekend when I was away, I arranged for my friend Dwight, an extraordinarily earnest and geeky fellow, to substitute for me.

    I didn't notice anything different after Dwight's weekend, but my stepmother certainly did. She walked into the kitchen and practically shrieked when she saw the stove.

    Dwight had cleaned all the ancient irremovable stains off the stove top, which gleamed shiny white like it was brand new.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  19. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
    I loan things that I don't care about. Those things, I basically gave to them and don't care if I get it back. This includes money.

    I loan out my car to some people. Right now to someone who's driving skill I trust to drive my first car hard and around difficult and challenging turns. We've even taking it to the track were it can be catastrophic if not fatal. He also is willing to pay to replace it. I know this because that's the person that he is.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  20. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member

    Location:
    Nebraska
    On the farm it was common courtesy to loan tools and equipment to friends/neighbors. The common courtesy 'unwritten rule' was that the item borrowed should always be returned in as good or better shape than it was when it was borrowed.
    I obviously was not thinking clearly.:rolleyes: I should have loaned it to him on the condition that he mow my lawn in exchange. Then I could have enjoyed a longer and up-closer show!;)
     
    • Like Like x 2