Ugh! My boss makes me feel stupid..

Does anyone else hate their boss?

Okay, maybe I don’t hate him but he wasn’t as nice and innocent as I thought. Sorry, I’m just venting about another one of my days at work. He constantly makes me feel like I am stupid, not doing anything right, and says things kind of demeaning but in a nice way with a smile as if that’s supposed to make it a bit better.

I can’t stand it, I hate the way I am treated at work by like 3 out of the 10 people I work with. My boss (let’s not get him confused with my supervisor who I’m ok with) is not clear with direction at all. It’s always gray and he gets mad at me. I’ll give some examples.

I hired on 10 applicants. He pulled me aside wanting to know the status on each candidate. I told him I would have to grab my notes so I can update him because it’s easier for me to recall. There’s a crap load of details on the status of each new hire and he expects me to pull it out my butt as if I know from the top of my head.

He was getting angry and didn’t understand me at all.

I don’t know why but he made it difficult on me saying “I’m not asking you to memorize, I NEED to know the status on each new hire.” I repeated myself I would gladly give him the info if he would just let me grab my paper. He just didn’t understand and was like “Why can’t you just tell me? It’s not hard.” After repeating myself three times I grab it and go over it with him….gave him his freaking answers. Ugh!

One assignment he have me he told me he would like for me to work on to present next Wednesday. He told me yesterday and I planned to have it done tomorrow. He was upset he didn’t have it today even though he said it was due next week.

Another incident. Our meeting, there was a new position open. I asked if a job was posted and he said “No, you should ask Jane Doe if she might be.” I ASK HER and she said “I haven’t worked on it” I then worked on a posting and showed him and he asked “I thought we had one already last week?” And “where else is this posted?”

What the heck? He just told me that there was no posting created so now there is one floating around and posted somewhere? I’m confused. I asked my coworker if she worked on it and she said NO, but when he asked for it she have him the previous posting.

Oh, and if I ask a question that I may have asked before he gets smart with me with a smile to make it nicer. But he’ll ask me the same damn questions all the time and I have to be nice.
I don’t understand his place at all!! Im also scared to go to him for questions.

 

Do you have a HR department?

 

The sad fact is that a lot of companies put people in authority over others without requiring them to learn how to do it correctly. Clearly your boss needs to be educated on how to manage others effectively. He sounds like he's in the Lazy camp: they see their direct reports as a means to accomplish tasks. There's no attempt to actually mentor, or help people develop skills. His lazy management behavior only serves to piss off his staff and kills morale.

Unfortunately, the only way to handle this is to take the initiative and force a conversation with him. You'll also need to ask for training, guidance, etc. Given the way he makes you feel, it doesn't sound like this will be a viable option. You can try HR, but stay away from complaining. You need to emphasize the positives to avoid looking like a malcontent.

Your best bet would be to emphasize taht you want to learn more and become more effective in your role. It that doesn't work for you, you might want to consider transferring to another department.

Sorry you're in this situation, Chelle. Being a manager is a serious responsibility and it requires a LOT of work. It sounds like this guy isn't making the effort.

Good luck!

 

Lol what if I told you guys we are HR??? He's the director of the whole department. We are small though, just 3 of us. I've been here four months.

One other crisis manger is always cranky. She especially doesn't like me. Maybe cuz I'm super happy? But she's always trying to come up with things to complain about me to my big boss so maybe it's getting to him. I even had proof I was innocent on her accusations. My supervisor even told me some things that made it sound like he was on her side because we will "try our best to keep up with her requests and make her happy". My feelings don't count lol. Maybe because she has a job no one wants so they need her.

Turn over for senior management is very low. Most have been there 10 or more years. My position I think people quit within 1-2 years.

I work in a mental health industry and turn over is super high. I have to constantly look for applicants and it's a big issue here. Who wants a stressful job for low low pay?

 

OK, I guess that the original thread post and the two responses got completely deleted/removed.

I had a boss with a massive inferiority complex, which she covered with a massive superiority complex. She was incapable of saying/admitting things such as: I don't know, I've never heard of that, I'm not familiar that, etc. Trying to make people feel stupid was one of her covers. She dismissed all input other than her own, but after a few weeks she would present the 'dismissed' input as her own idea(s). The scary part was she actually & truly convinced herself that the idea was hers. She would also put her own spin on events to make herself look important, and convince herself that was what actually happened (scary, pyschological disorder).

Even away from the office she would steer conversations to compliment herself, and expect us to play along. Some of us learned to leave her hanging. She would say things such as "We're like family, we have so much fun in the Houston office," and "I've hired the best people*." We would remain silent.

*Her track record for hiring good employees & choosing good temps was abysmal.

I refused to play along. Although this is going to sound so wrong, and I don't mean it the ways it sounds, being married for a number of years helped me deal with her. When she went into Psycho Bitch (her nickname) mode, which was 75% of the time, I either ignored her, or went into my passive-aggressive 'Oh, of course' mode, both of which made her even more psycho.

Even when she came up with a really good idea on her own (a rare occurance), I would acknowledge it, but in a neutral way with no enthusiasm. Which caused her to talk about it even more, which gave me more opportunities to display no enthusiasm. If she had been a good boss who required frequent reassurance, instead of a dumbass who demanded reassurance of something she wasn't, I might have played along to a certain degree.

 

Thanks for advice guys. He's a nice person but working under him is a nightmare. I need my supervisor to come back because I'm only dealing with him often because she's on bf's cation.


Want to know what he did today??? I posted something a manager gave me. He looked at it and kept telling me it was wrong. I told him it wasn't and that's what was given to us. He kept trying to argue and I asked if he wanted me to grab the paper to show him and he said "no, I'll let it fly this time" WTF right???
Something is wrong with him.