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Tricks to keeping your child content

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by genuinemommy, May 24, 2013.

  1. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    Ever notice a 5-year-old who is incredibly well-behaved in a restaurant?
    How about the 8-year-old sitting next to you on a plane who is traveling alone, absorbed in his book, who remembers to say "please" and "thank you" to the flight attendant?
    How about that kid sitting behind you in church you didn't realize was even there until you turned to leave?

    If you're the parent of one of those kids, I want to know your secrets.
    What are your tricks (and other not-so-tricky methods) for keeping your child content in public?

    ----------------------------------------/------------------
    We're still new at this, since our daughter is still an infant, but people compliment us on our incredibly sweet baby every time we go out with her. I'll share what has worked for us so far, but I fully expect to get some awesome advice.
    - Know the signals of hunger and feed them long before they know they are hungry. This is where breast-feeding comes in handy for us. There's some sort of chemical signal happening between my daughter and myself that induces milk production prior to any complaint. When I feel my milk come in, I pull out a bottle of pumped milk and place it to her lips. She invariably suckles. Making sure her dietary needs are met gives her one less thing to complain about and one less thing on my mind. (Side note: I do not breast feed in public. It makes me uncomfortable and my daughter picks up on that discomfort and reacts accordingly.)
    - Know the signs of over-stimulation and get out before it has a chance to build. There's a constant stream of babbling from my daughter. The tone of her voice is insanely expressive. When she develops a certain tone, I know it's time to pack up and make her environs more familiar.
    - Have soothing and familiar items handy. A pacifier works if that's your thing, but a familiar/favorite toy or blankie (or all 3) can help you create a portable comfortable space. Make sure you've "trained" them with back-up items as well so you're not lost if they lose a specific toy. Smells are handy here, too. Having a couple items that "smell like home" are helpful.
    - When a friend wants to hold her, make sure she is properly prepared for the transition. Speak to her as you hand her over slowly (while she is awake). Keep her in your sight and hold her hand until you know she isn't apprehensive about the new person. Never pass the child over while sleeping, she will startle awake in the new person's arms and be thoroughly confused and possibly frightened.
    - Don't be afraid to speak up and gently direct those around you with what needs to happen to keep your child happy: "I think it'll be best if you don't pinch her on the cheek." "Please don't bend over the stroller." "Please stop touching my baby," etc. If there's someone your child has a negative reaction to (waitress with wacky hair, etc) don't force your child to interact.
    - Always be prepared to drop everything and leave.
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2013
    genuinemommy, May 24, 2013
    #1
  2. fflowley

    fflowley Don't just do something, stand there!

    It's not really a trick when they've reached 5.
    It's letting them know what your expectations are ahead of time, and having them behave in an appropriate, disciplined way on a daily basis.
    I don't mean putting them in the Marines, but an example from our home would be the way we handle dinner. Everyone is expected to sit quietly at the table. We try the foods being served, even if we don't think we like them. We don't interrupt when mommy and daddy speak. And we all wait until everyone is finished before getting up and leaving the table.
    Then when you go to a restaurant, no issues, because they're behaving the way they've been taught to behave when eating.
    If you let your kids act like monsters at home, there's no way they're going to alter that behavior during dinner out.
     
    fflowley, May 25, 2013
    #2
    • Like Like x 3
  3. amonkie

    amonkie Very Tilted

    Location:
    Windy City
    When working with kids, I've found routines and reasonable expectations help so much.

    Don't expect a child to behave like an angel if it's 2 hours past their bedtime, or they are being deprived of a nap in a quiet calm location.

    Allowing children to stimulate and entertain themselves at home helps them to be able to do the same when you are out and about.

    I've had great success with setting a kitchen egg timer with them and saying when the timer stops, then we get to go do X thing, but until then we're playing the quiet game. Start with smaller time windows, but giving them a concrete distinction of time, and being consistent to honor my promise of fun activity afterwards helped with patience and trust in me.

    These were a little more difficult with twins at times, but doing things as consistently as possible helped to narrow down the possible fluctuations.

    Above all.. kids pick up on your moods and stress levels. Learn to stay calm, upbeat, and count to 10 before reacting to something will go a long way to escalating a situation.
     
    amonkie, May 25, 2013
    #3
    • Like Like x 1