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Sexual Identity in young kids

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by cynthetiq, Oct 14, 2015.

  1. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City

    View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Si5kAnLyKeg


    This is something that I have never heard of until very recently. I met a woman who had a son and a daughter. Recently we spoke after not speaking for a few months. She explained to me how she has been in a new state where her son has become her daughter. She has gone through all the legal changes she can, passport and other identification to ease traveling.

    What do you think of such a thing? Do you think it's too young? Not something a parent should do?

    I'm waiting to meet this child this weekend. My opinion sways many different ways depending on the view I take from family and friends.
     
    cynthetiq, Oct 14, 2015
    #1
  2. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    Really don't know how I'd handle this as a parent.
    Thankfully it's incredibly rare, so the chances of my daughters experiencing gender identity issues are slim.
    I personally didn't enjoy being a girl as a child, and would try to pass myself off as a boy often. Not because I thought I was a boy, but because I was bothered by the gender roles that came with my genitalia in the society in which I was raised. Breaking free from that circle of oppression was the healthiest thing I could have done for myself. Thankfully my mother was supportive of me doing masculine things, and helped me to embrace the seeming duality of my interests.
     
    genuinemommy, Oct 14, 2015
    #2
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  3. Plan9

    Plan9 Rock 'n Roll

    Location:
    Earth
    Because it has to be said: Traditional-ish gender roles and related nomenclature help me and much of the world generalize so as to speed up interaction judgements and social transactions and... hell, everything else.

    ...

    I don't know about parents caving to the capricious babblings of their children. When I was a kid I was pretty sure I was a dinosaur fighter pilot. I think there has to be an age limit to this quagmire of experimentation.

    ...

    I wonder if this "new wave"of gender identity issues is more than just a first world liberal commie fad and all that science-y stuff about plastics in the ocean fucking up fish hormones is slowly going to RuPaul us all.
     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2015
    Plan9, Oct 14, 2015
    #3
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  4. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    That's what stereotypes do too.

    Except there's no such thing as a dinosaur fighter pilot (yet). Also, did you really carry on with this identity like a lot of these kids do with theirs? (Kudos, if you did.)

    Gender identity is a spectrum to which we all belong. Dinosaur fighter pilotry isn't anywhere along any spectrum that I'm aware of. (If it is, let me know!)

    For the record, I know more people who made a female-to-male gender transition than the other way around.

    I think one day we'll understand gender and sexuality to an extent that we won't do as much damage to our children as has been the case for a long time. [Insert something about homosexual and transgender suicide rates being disproportionately high. Sorry, I'm out of time.]
     
    Baraka_Guru, Oct 14, 2015
    #4
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  5. Plan9

    Plan9 Rock 'n Roll

    Location:
    Earth
    ...because it has to be said.

    I spent a large amount of my time alone as a child. I do know that gender wasn't much of an issue for me as a boy (other boys are my homies, girls are icky) and as a teenager my heterosexual balls took control. But I'm part of the Gender 89%.

    My point with that statement is: Kids are dumb. I don't know if it is better to trust someone that still believes in the Santa and the Easter Bunny about its gender identity and do it early or to wait until said child is a legal adult and let them handle it.

    Puberty is obviously a pivotal turning point and there are a boatload of considerations.

    Of course their suicide rates are high... anything that deviates from the majority and causes social friction spikes that. Suicide rates among combat veterans and Japanese school kids are both also high.

    That and the frustration with being unable to easily transition to their desired identity. The crotch-swap surgery costs as much as a luxury automobile and I'd imagine is equal parts science and art.
     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2015
    Plan9, Oct 14, 2015
    #5
  6. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    It isn't necessarily about some kid trying stuff out or being rebellious. A lot of the time it happens because it's innate, arising from the subconscious. You and me? We don't have to work hard to actively sustain our gender identities the whole time. We simply roll with them. Well, these kids are likely doing that too.

    What's worse is parenting that cracks down on such identities, forcing children to act counter to their intuition. So there's this disparity between what the kid feels and what is expected of the kid. This can be damaging to self-esteem and to the understanding of self in general. As someone who has suffered years of assaults on my self-identity, I can attest to the damage it can cause.

    Looking at this as possibly "just a phase" can be a part of the problem. What if it isn't just a phase?
     
    Baraka_Guru, Oct 15, 2015
    #6
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  7. Plan9

    Plan9 Rock 'n Roll

    Location:
    Earth
    And what if it is?

    /thread

    We've all had a rough life, man. You had those years of assaults on your self-identity, I was a latchkey kid left to his own devices, Eden grew up with a southern accent... life sucks even if you act like the gender of your sex organs.

    Anyway, my point still stands: regardless of how the particular kid thinks they feel at the moment, is it wise to play the gender-blender game before puberty or let them handle it as a legal adult?

    That and you'd pretty much have to uproot the kid and move because there isn't a single group more bigoted than the inhabitants of your local middle class playground.
     
    Plan9, Oct 15, 2015
    #7
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  8. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    Hey, I was left to my own devices too! (But thank God I don't have one of those silly accents!)

    My point is that parents are playing the gender-blender game even if they "crack down" on a child's gender identity. The problem with that is it's known to be damaging to a child's psyche.

    If anything, we need to see a shift away from making it the child's "problem" and towards a culture that understands that a large part of gender is a construct through which we all perform.

    I'm not sure moving would help any.
     
    Baraka_Guru, Oct 15, 2015
    #8