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Scared of Sex?

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by mangoboom, May 6, 2012.

  1. mangoboom

    mangoboom New Member

    Location:
    California
    So I think I'm scared of sex. I think it's for a lot of reasons; I'm scared to get close to people/scared of intimacy/unconfident/scared of change and regret/scared of the actual penetration.

    I'm a 19 year-old female btw.

    Was anyone else scared like this?
    The opportunity has come up a couple of times but I always try to avoid it.
     
    mangoboom, May 6, 2012
    #1
  2. Plan9

    Plan9 Rock 'n Roll

    Location:
    Earth
    You're a virgin, right?
     
    Last edited: May 6, 2012
    Plan9, May 6, 2012
    #2
  3. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Scared? No, for me, my hormones made up for that. But I did worry if I was giving pleasure. I'm a giver.

    Listen...many people are frightened by everything that others put on the topic.
    The stigma, do this...do that, you should do this...you shouldn't do that, you are this, you aren't that.
    Both in a social and physical context.

    Relax.
    Sex in the end, is supposed to be a moment of enjoyment.
    Not a pressure in any way, shape or form.

    Everyone else is not with you, their opinions are irrelevant...it's just you and the person you want to be with.

    The thing is with sex...good sex, it will be when it will be.
    Just like any act of fun & pleasure.

    It can take many forms...warm, raw, slow, fast, quiet, loud...all of it varies, but it is still about you being pleased.
    Just go with the flow, do what makes you feel comfortable.

    But one thing that might help...it's nothing to be scared of...billions of people have done it thousands of years, times throughout their lives.
    It's like walking, breathing, running, talking...a natural thing.

    The only difference is you are sharing it with another...in tandem.
    It's just a moment.
    But like any moment, it's what you make of it...it's what becomes of it.
    Sometimes it's not of interest.
    Sometimes it's significant...a wonder.
     
    rogue49, May 6, 2012
    #3
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Ayashe

    Ayashe Getting Tilted

    If you have a level of fear that you are concerned may be over the top you may want to consider some counseling before you take the plunge. I am not a huge pusher of counseling but sometimes people with these sort of fears end up progressing or ending relationships out of fear. Going for it before you are emotionally ready even with your consent may lead to some sexual issues later on.
     
    Ayashe, May 6, 2012
    #4
  5. Poetry

    Poetry Totally Sharky, Complete

    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Perhaps you're just afraid of the unknown, blowing sex way out of proportion due to that lack of experience. God knows that media really doesn't help form healthy perceptions of sex and basic sexuality.

    I have a feeling that, once you have sex, you'll look back at yourself and feel mildly silly for ever being so frightened. "I was worried about that?"

    Sex is easy. Monkeys have sex, some insects have sex mid-flight, even inbred cousins with IQs way below the 100-mark have sex. Everyone handles themselves just fine.
     
    Poetry, May 6, 2012
    #5
    • Like Like x 3
  6. fflowley

    fflowley Don't just do something, stand there!

    You have plenty of time. It sounds like you are feeling some sort of pressure, perhaps internally applied, to be sexually active.
    Why?
    How about waiting a year, or two, or five, and then revisiting the issue?
     
    fflowley, May 6, 2012
    #6
  7. AlterMoose

    AlterMoose Slightly Tilted

    Location:
    Pangaea
    When I first started having sex, I dreaded being seen with my shirt off, I was afraid I wouldn't please her, I didn't know what I was doing, ddn't know if I was going to do something wrong. But when we realized it was time, sex was natural; we were--are--sexually compatible.

    A friend of mine, due to experiences that no child should go through, was convinced and determined that she would never have sex. It was too dark, too terrifying. But even she recently found someone, and their first sexual encounter was natural and beautiful.

    It's really okay to feel your feelings. Pressure to do it, even from yourself, is not sufficient cause. I think there's a right moment for everyone to take the plunge, and it's seldom on one's 18th bithday. I'm so sorry you're having these feelings. I have to believe that when the time IS right, your fear will give way, and it will be just as natural, just as beautiful for you.
     
    AlterMoose, May 7, 2012
    #7