QOTD #31: How many close friends do you have?

I have 35 "close friends" listed on faceyspace...but that's more of an "I want to see more of their posts" kinda thing, not necessarily indicative of actual closeness.


Actual real life close friends? Hmm. Only two in NC: the married couple (and parents of SuperDude) whom I've talked about a little bit here. From back home, there's maybe three or four people I'd say are "close," even though I haven't seen some of them in years.

...It's difficult to define what "close" means to me. Part of it's just that initial "click" you feel with some people. Part of it's when I feel like I don't have to be "on" with them, and can just relax in their company. Part of it's how involved you are in each others' lives, and things you've shared. Part of it's bonding over shared interests. Part of it's knowing you can trust them. I guess throw all that together, and that's what makes a close friend for me.

 

I have four close friends, that's not to say I'm some kind of shut-in. I consider a close friend to be someone you can have controversial discussions with and not be negatively affected. To be a close friend, one would need to have their own ideas and not succumb to popular opinion. From there they'd have to make some kind of strenuous effort to help me, as I have made strenuous efforts to help them.

To improve existing friendships we'd have to bond through some kind of difficulty that can have severe consequences for us both and come out victorious.

 

This description really works for me.
I tend to have a few very tight friends and keep most other people at a certain distance.
My close friends now are 4: 3 from High School and one that I've made over the last 10 years.
That's a number I'm completely satisfied with.

 

I think I have a problem with this.

I don't think I have any close friends other than my wife. I would classify a close friend someone that I can speak to about issues I am having that I can't talk about with my wife.

I have one person that I would put in this category but I will only have these sorts of conversations face-to-face and she is about 14,805 km away.

I have other friends that are close in proximity but not with whom I would share these discussions. I often feel like I am acquainted with many people but not close.

 

I have no friends, either close or just socially. Except for my girlfriend. I often feel disconnected from day to day life. I feel like I can carry on a conversation and develop a little rapport with people, but I don't know how to take it any further. I once heard a piece from a person with asperger's, and she described it as feeling like an alien among people, and trying to decode a language. That things that come naturally to others, she has to decode. I feel a bit like that. I left my job as a trooper a couple of months ago under shitty circumstances (basically being forced to resign), and no one called or reached out to me. I had no friends there. And these were people I had to trust and rely on.

 

It depends on how we want to define "close."

If "close" friends means someone to whom you would tell absolutely anything, someone you would unreservedly trust with your life, someone you can talk with day or night, with whom you can pick up entirely where you left off even if you've been incommunicado for months or even years...then I have two close friends. Besides Mrs. Levite, I mean.

If "close" friends means people you trust, with whom you can talk easily and freely about nearly anything, whom you would support and from whom you get support, with whom you share some common interests...then I have maybe a dozen or fifteen close friends.

I am by nature a relatively introverted person. I don't make much of an effort to get close to people or to pull them closer to me. My close friendships, in the first sense, came about by truly random constellations of circumstances bringing me together with two people who were profoundly like me in some key ways, and different from me in ways that served not to push us apart but to make us ideal whetstones for each other, making each of us better and sharper and more effective people. And my close friendships, in the second sense, came about from friendships that were bonded in common experience: mostly classmates from rabbinical school, a couple friends from college (including my freshman roommate).

 

I feel the same way. About all of what you said. I have two close friends, two people I trust wholeheartedly. With everyone else, I'm guarded.

 

really depeons od definition of close. I have 1 best friend, and one other person that knows me really well, and my wife. so I guess its 3. Im not typically a person that opens up to people alot