Profanity

Kinda ontopic -
There was a Filipino BT1 in my shop on the boat who had passable english but a damnn strong accent still. He used to say 'What da puck?'; in his case it was not self censoring but just the accent. Ever since then I have used that on occasion. Works much better in some places than the "uncut" expression does.

 

I too cuss like a sailor........and my have offended a few out there but............

awww........fuck it!........I can justify it,it's who I am.

 

I only police the language my son uses, not because I think that he should be censored or sheltered from words, but because if he uses a word that could cause someone to be hurt he better understand that. Its an approach that has worked brilliantly. A word isn't bad, but how its been used, and how it is used can be. Traveling extensively teaches you that what our society might construe as profane is part and parcel for other cultures so the thought of my son ever correcting someone else on word choice makes me cringe. I myself tend to not swear because once you do, it loses its power. People who cuss AT me simply amuse me because it shows how little real strength there is in their argument. People who cuss in general conversation can also amuse me because generally it means a pretty comical conversation is going on or something amusing has happened with a thumb and a hammer.

 

It's about context. I've tried to build a vocabulary that allows me to express myself in a lucid and fluent manner without resorting to profanity. I rarely just let one slip. When I do, it's there for punctuation and I'm very serious about what I'm saying. Damned straight!

 

I cuss and I cuss a lot. I also know when it is inappropriate to cuss although some folks here might disagree with me. When I am here, I feel free to express myself however I feel. This was the environment I was first initiated into here and it's the way I prefer to keep it. Personally, I don't understand being offended by language that isn't meant to directly minimize or degrade someone. Simply using the word 'fuck' or any other profanity to express emotion or emphasis is a personal choice and, frankly, no one has the right to deprive anyone of their right to express themselves in their own way. If you're offended by it, that's your own hangup and you might want to get over it because no one should be expected to change for you and your sense of propriety. I like to think that this place is such a place that people can use the words they want to express what they want. I've been called out for my use of 'flowery language' many times, particularly over the last year or so and, just so ya'll know, I ignore it. For the aforementioned reasons. The day this place becomes too fucking prim for fuck is most certainly the day I am out.

I know this isn't exactly the topic at hand, but it was inspired by it and I thought it was worth sharing. This is my personal commitment to debauched and blasphemous maledictions.

 

Around my family, I use polite language. Around my friends, I sound like a sailor on shore leave, although it's definitely more pronounced when I'm really excited or really angry.

I do remember a brief stint in fourth grade, where recess meant spewing as much profanity as possible. I'm not entirely sure why, but it was something most of my class did, sort of a language exploration thing. Or maybe it just made us feel tough and grown-up. At any rate, I made a very definite decision to stop once I hit junior high...which, come to think of it, was the same time I banished "ain't" from my vocabulary.

Growing up, you never, EVER said "butt" around my grandma. Or "crap." I have one specific memory of my brother asking mom if we could say "butt," and my heart dropped, sure he was going to get in trouble (he was probably around six, I was nine or ten.) Mom thought about it for a few seconds, and proclaimed we could say it, just not around Grandma. Mom was not a fan of "sucks," so we weren't allowed to say that. Imagine being fourteen, and not allowed to say something sucks! My substitute word for that one was "vacuums." As in, "being grounded really vacuums." "Skanky" was okay, "slutty" was not.

I'm 31 now, and I still don't cuss around my grandparents. I've only recently said "shit" for the first time in front of my mother, and that was relating an anecdote, not just me talking freely. I did say "fucking" once in front of Lordeden 's mom, and I was mortified.

 

Having served in the Navy, i guess you could say i cussed like a sailor. Moreso in stressful situations.
But after getting out, i found less need to express myself with such vulgarity. After several decades, i rarely said any curse words.
Listening to younger people nowadays, i wonder if they have had any formal education. They can hardly talk without every other word being being some form of the word f... ! They have no respect for those around them.
One can only hope they adjust their language as they grow older.

 

I swear all of the time. I think cuss words are like condiments. They liven shit up. I swear at work frequently, but only around people who seem like they'd be fine with some well placed swear words.

My kids know that they shouldn't swear around me until they are old enough to be thoughtful about it. I have made it clear to them that this prohibition has more to do with them learning how to modulate their speech habits in response to their company than it does with any sort of prudishness on my part. I tell my oldest to swear all she wants on the playground as long as she isn't making anyone uncomfortable.

Profanity is an important and valid form of communication.

 

I have always awarded my kids developmental cuss words.

For instance: Here, child, here are two fine words: ass and crap. Prove to me that you can use them wisely and with flair and I will give you more.

And always made it clear that I don't care what words they use when they are with their friends, but to be prepared to deal with the consequences if they use them in a situation that lands them in hot water. Part of the responsibility of using these words is developing an innate sense of when not to use them. It should come 2nd nature.

So, I too sort of lament hearing young people using the word 'fuck' whenever and wherever without any joy or appreciation for these beautiful words. Part of what makes them so precious is knowing that they are shared at times when you can really let loose and be candid - among friends or other people you are close with.

As for growing up, the only two grandparents I have drawn out memories of also cussed with great vigor and aplomb. As did (and do) my own parents. And I wouldn't want it any other way.

 

Sir Bodkin, I took much the same line with my son. I recently over heard him playing some game with his friends online. He has the language of a trucker. That said, until very recently, he has never been heard to swear infront of his mother.

 

As a kid, my parents always said to me that they don't care if I swear, as long as they don't hear it. That's not to say they never swore in front of me but I always got a sense of them choosing their moments (my dad was a keen DIYer so I heard a bit of this and that when hammers hit thumbs and such) and I guess I took that on board with me, but I don't think there's anything particularly special or advanced about that. Just like non-profane slang and even certain accent/dialect features, we develop a sense of what to use and when, to get the best effect according to our intentions and goals and depending on our audience. It's certainly not limited to profanity, but I guess profanity is the one thing that has the potential to shock outright, which obviously goes beyond the other things I mention where they might simply give people the information needed to make quick and easy judgements about your background and character.

I definitely swear more freely online than I do verbally.

As an adult I became more comfortable with swearing in front of my mother but I still feel that if I'm going to drop a 'fuck' or a 'shit', I had better have a good enough reason for it. I've even managed a 'cunt' a couple of times with her but it has to be a really exceptional circumstance for that. At work, I'd keep it limited to maybe 'arse' and some semi-profane (imo) things like 'bugger'.

Favourite profanity memory: One time as a teenager, I stubbed my toe on a chair and I was aware my dad was in the next room, so after a sharp intake of breath I produced a noise something like HMMMRRRGHHHH. My dad strolled in and said "I believe the word you're looking for is BASTARD". Yes, dad. Yes it is.

 

I don't find profanities distasteful. I do, however, find it distasteful when people substitute a word or phrase for a proper profanity. Example: people who say 'gah' instead of 'god', 'BS' instead of bullshit, 'frick' instead of 'fuck'.

I find it distasteful because the meaning of the words is the same, however, the people saying the words lack the courage to issue them openly and directly.

 

I use gah (though mostly in writing). I can assure you it isn't a substitute for the word god. It is a more like the sound one makes when they are disgusted/exasperated.

 

I define profanity as extreme graphic violence in real life and depicted, then typically, really bad swear words, including fuck.
"Fuck" was not used in my household growing up, I never even heard the word uttered until fourth grade.
I got teased for not knowing what it meant. Immigrant Canadian kid, 3 years in, I was a novelty still I guess.
Ass, Hell, "Jesus Christ," "Jesus [insert my brother's name, it was 'Jamie' so it had alliteration]", bullshit,' were included in my parent's language...more colorful words were used to demean like 'moron,' but never 'fucking moron' and I've let that slip once or twice in front of /directed someone at some point in 29 years of being a mother.

 

I never curse till I have a stiff drink in hand.