On Life...

“I’ve never been able to properly explain myself in this climate.” Yeah, you and me both, Hunter. At least you were able to explain yourself at all. I try putting thoughts to paper and what results may at best be the ramblings of a fool and a naïve, albeit an enthusiastic one. Yes that is the correct adjective to describe me. Enthusiastically naïve; quixotic (if you like), and it is in that spirit that I deliberate on life as I know it, and perhaps as I’m able to make it.

I suppose I should offer a disclaimer: I have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about; but I do have ideas. I’m open to just about anything (at least once) and operate fervently on my ideas of the world and life until a better one comes along. I try, while simultaneously parrying my own ego’s desperate grasps for relevancy, to consider all things, especially the ones that refute me. Hoping for enlightenment or maybe just a nice self-deprecating concept to entertain, I’m not sure, but it’s fun either way.

For as long as I can remember I’ve had a restless soul. Movement you see is preferable (in any direction) to static contemplation. As I continue to mature, I see the fallacy in that. From time to time I am able to stop and appreciate where I am, but still maintain a deep-rooted love of adventure and the next step. I am also a very emotional person on the inside, while remaining the picture of stoicism on the outside. I’ve not been able to reconcile these two me’s, but maybe one day I’ll have some success. Having a passion and curiosity for life that I can never put into words has been the greatest gift I can recall. It has lead me to push the limits of what I’ve thought possible, but comes at a price. The problem with thorough self-examination is that when you know yourself too well, it is easy to get confused when you inevitably change. And so as I embarked on the great adventures of my youth, I left my soul in a foot-locker at the end my bed in the room I grew up in; it did not recognize me when I returned.

The problem with people’s opinions of you (when they are good) is I often don’t see them as earned. Having survived the draconian dreamlands of the violent and macabre world we helped create; I returned seemingly unchanged. I thought fighting and surviving a war (if we are to call it a war), would give me assurances as to the constitution of my spirit. It turned out to be the opposite of course. I call it a dreamland because even to this day, years later, I can’t picture myself there. It was such a surreal experience that I only remember it as though I am standing in a gallery, and my memories and exploits are pictures on the wall. I stand and look at the darkness and say “oh yeah, I painted that.” I fought in a good unit. It has a reputation and we all felt compelled to see it through. My old friends marveled at my success there; I am a gentle person you see. The only thing I can do is shrug; I don’t know how it happened either. It left me with no answers, only more questions.

In much the same way Kubrick’s Joker mused on the duality of man, I live my life today. I go out of my way to avoid stepping on an ant, I marvel at the birds, squirrels and cats in my neighborhood and understand that I truly have a gentle soul. I like helping people (it’s what I do for a living), but I had no qualms about exercising violence in some of the most dangerous countries on earth. It’s not what I’d choose as a career though. So I exist in a space you could say, between two worlds shrouded in a veil. I catch glimpses of silhouettes on either side but can’t see either choice clearly; I’m free to enter either world I wish. Make your choices…

I never really fit in anyplace either. A small group of friends has been a part of my life in frequency that waxes and wanes on it’s own volition. I don’t pretend to control it, but I am apart of it. My incredible wife supports me and I support her. We’ve had some really bad years. It started off badly, as incongruous as that sounds. But we fought through it and entered what I think is the beginning of a golden age - The long summer for you Game of Thrones fans. I mention this because I’m also a very sensual person, although I’ve always been too introverted to act on it – to my ever-loving distaste with myself. Somewhere in me is a red-hot mass of sexual energy and tension that I’ve never let out. I let it out a little bit at a time now with my wife. She is enjoying it so far, a lot, which is great for both of us. Hopefully with her, we can unlock the mysteries of our souls together. I won’t say we are damaged, but we’ve fought some battles and we wear the scars openly as reminders to our future selves to tread with sure footing, hand in hand.

This thought vomit, is my attempt to explain my philosophy on life. Or rather, the first several chapters of it, as it surely is a work in progress. I never wrote anything like it before, and if you’ve managed to stick it out to the end you probably understand why.

I’m interested to hear your own philosophies. How do you choose to live? And I suppose, if the forums are quiet, I can always stay for the porn.


Cheers

 

Sorry I didn't read it all but philosophy on life is fun and I will eventually finish your entire post but I forgot something fast when I'm mutli tasking(currently) .

I believe people worry to much and we have got in our own way for ever due to fear and until there is no corruption and no fear in the world or greed we will never reach our potential and never truly be as happy as we are meant to be by whoever or whatever made us ..(idc if you're an atheist or god fearing Christian or any other thing from religion to random beliefs) .

I believe life with rules keeps us from fulfilling everything and we must conquer what we can enjoy whatever you want , there is no such thing as success or failure if you feel happy sitting homeless then as a homeless person you're doing better than some of the richest ppl in the world...cheap shot here but ask robin williams(sorry sorry sorry) .

The way this world is shaped will always hamper us from being happy but if you can be happy get it ..idc if you are happy as a thief , gun for hire, congressman , teacher or whatever and idc if you need to stay high to get happy or preach gods word ..as long as you never interfere in some one else's happiness just bc (if it makes u happy then prepare for them to make themselves happy too lol) ..

I wish for world happiness not world peace there are always those who will destroy happiness not even out of envy but some like it ..those ppl would find their place too if we all modeled the world this way and did what's right and allowed everything we would see the truth all day everyday ..

 

Welcome to the TFP, @Veiled Apophenia.

The Tilted Forum Project is a discussion forum. In order to generate said discussion, you have to give us an in. This works best by offering us a specific topic/situation (religion/gun control/new cars/kids today/video games), explain said topic/situation by telling us where you got the inspiration and why it is important to you (I just bought a new Playstation for my Cadillac Escalade), give an example of the animal/vegetable/mineral in the topic/situation as it applies and set up the pro/con, yes/no, vanilla/chocolate, anal/no anal answers (Do you like the new Playstation? Do you ever play it in your sweet ride?). Links to source material such as articles is extremely useful. Pictures are also helpful for those of us that are mostly illiterate. Like me.

Your post reads likes like a blog and doesn't really help shape a specific discussion. If we're talking grand life gobbledegook, my answer would be: "My philosophy is to crush my enemies, see them driven before me and to hear the lamentations of their women." And I'd get 6 Likes from the usual turds on the board and the thread would die. Those kinds of threads are fun but don't serve to get your message across and generate the debate and sexual frustration that good threads inevitably spark.

We do have community blogs here on the forum and I am sure that you will be granted access to them by the staff if you choose to engage in some other threads or start a focused thread and show that you are a useful member of the community.

 

Usual turds. Is that what I've become???? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Anyhow, welcome to the board. I try to have very little philosophy to live by. I'm just not that deep.

 

I'm not sure if we are meant to be happy, sad, or just meant to be... But I wholeheartedly appreciate and identify with your belief that we fear too much. Ultimately, I suppose there is nothing to really fear, yet it handicaps so much of our lives (or at least mine). It is a constant struggle to attempt and live freely, and happily, without being burdened with that fear. If you ever figure out how to do it, be sure to let me know!

So I might surmise that the meaning of life (in your opinion) is to live happily and to the fullest? I can certainly get on board that train. The next obstacle is to find out what truly makes you happy, not just on the surface. Sure I'd be happy with a new guitar, or computer, or round-trip first-class ticket to Tahiti. But what would settle my soul and let me shut my eyes with nothing in my head but a smile on my face? That's a tough one. Perhaps if I could turn my brain off for 10 minutes, let it reboot and see the world with fresh and eager eyes I'd have a better sight of what it means for me. All-in-all, I like your ideas. Thanks!
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Ahh yes. It does read like a blog and for that I do apologize. It wasn't meant to be, and I really have no interest in writing one. Being able to communicate well is one of my works in progress, I am prone to ramble. Thank you for your insight.

PS: love your cat avatar

 

That makes 3 of us...

Like Jon Stewart said to Morgan freeman ..I'd like to do shrooms with you (or was it freeman to Stewart hmmm) .