on letting someone win

Ok, so we had a party/BBQ at work tonight.

Drinks, burgers, and everyone who works there kids were invited

They had a setup with this game out of "Gladiators" where you have a "pugal stick" and you stand on a base and have to knock other man down. (a pugal stick is like a giant cotton bud/a 3 foot stick with two inflated plastic ends at either end)

I hope you know the weapon I mean

Anyway, kids were fighting and so on and this one kid aged approx 11 kept asked adults to fight him

After a bit I stepped up to do it. Obviously I didnt hit him back, I just blocked and absorbed his swings and pushed down on top of him with the pugal stick After I put him down 5/6 times and after about 5 mins (every time he got up again to fight some more) I sort of leaned right back and let him knock me off the stand. After he did, I got up and shook his hand like a man and we finished.

I just am not sure if "letting someone win" is an insult in any case, or was ok like this. I didndt dive off the base or anything, I just set my balance in a way that was possible for him to put me down,

Afterwards me and another adult were gonna have a go and the kid pushed all the other kids off so I could step up and was then cheering when I knocked the other man off his platform.

I dont know if I did the right thing or not

Kid is like 10/11 and I dont want to patronise him, at the same time I am a 2o stone lummox who used to box a bit when I was younger and the kid is 10 and weighs 7 stone so obvioulsy Im not going to swing my "Pugal stick" at the kid properly.

Ive never had a kid of my own, perhaps if I did it would be obvious to me what the answer is?

 

You did the right thing. What's the downside to letting him win. I'm sure he realized what you did, but you gave him an opportunity to feel good about himself.

 

It's called customer golf and it happens all the time.

Sometimes you win when you lose.

 

the downside is if he thought I was taking the piss out of him.

I didnt just jump off the platform thing and let him win, I just kept unbalancing myself a bit at a time till he could knock me down and only after he had gone down 4 or 5 times... but at the same time I wasnt trying to patronise him.

I probably wouldnt even be posting here, let alone a silly thing like this, except that Im drunk.

 

It doesn't sound like he was upset. If he was, then that's something different, but as I read it, a good time was had by all. Don't worry about it.

 

You did the right thing. Reading your report almost made me want to hug you but I'm not sure how to hug a lummox.

 

Yup. I reckon you did right too. Letting You win five or six times first was, IMO, the ideal set up for letting him do that one win

 

Sounds like this kid was determined to knock you over (suffered bing knocked down 4 to 6 times himself). Not sure if he believes that he did it himself or knows you let him win, or even wondered about it later on, but that kid beat an adult in front of a cheering audience.

You done good

 

One time, I was over at my cousin's house playing Ken Griffey Baseball for the SNES. I was playing my cousin's friend's little brother, and I was destroying him, and it was pretty clear he was getting upset. So I let him get back into the game, and everyone around started cheering him on. He tied it up in the top of the 9th, then went three ahead. In the bottom of the ninth, I loaded the bases and hit a grand slam to win the game. He cried, and I felt pretty awful, because I orchestrated the entire thing and easily could have let him win. I still feel kinda bad about it, but mostly because I spiked the controller and did a victory dance around the room (j/k)

 

I agree that SF handled his situation perfectly! Social situation, other people's kids, not totally condescending yet leaving the kid feeling good about himself. I like it.... but I handled my own kids a bit differently....

As soon as my kids started to show a competitive steak (wanting to WIN, not merely have FUN) I started making them work for it. That means that starting at age 5 or 6, I never let them win at anything... not a game of UNO, checkers, crazy eights... anything. Sure, there was a bit of frustration, but I was careful to lead them first into games that gave them a sporting chance, then progressed into tougher challenges. They won occasionally, then more frequently, and learned along the way that applying themselves reaps rewards. One of my sons has multiple national chess titles and the others have been successful at nearly everything they have tried.

 

cant you edit your own posts in the new board?
obviously I was drunk when I wrote that...

 

For a short amount of time, yes. Otherwise staff has to do it. Send me your changes if you'd like.

 

What Borla said.

I wish more people interacted with kids the way you did. Let them work for it, but still give them a taste of victory.

 

Sounds like fun. I don't think he'll grow up with too much of a self inflated attitude, because he beat you.

 

When he tells he mates the tale of how he persevered, kept getting back up, and eventualy outjousted this massive adult, his eyes will hold sparkle and his face joy. You were not openly condesending as some adults would be in similar situation, and his victory would have been meaningless realy. By bashing him off, you were treating him as an adult, as a young man. You made his win worth something.