Life advice requested please

Hi all, first off thank you for reading. I'm facing crucial choices in my life and frankly, I'm lost, dazed and confused. I could really appreciate some words of wisdom at this time. Background: I've been lurking the TFP since about 2004, participating here and there. I won't lie, it was a profound source of wisdom for me during my teenage years (even though I had to hide my teenage status). Now, I turn 24 in 5 days, and many of the quandaries I used to read about people facing are now real and palpable, though not exact in their nature. I realize that the decisions I face are and will only be mine to make, but there remains this element of insecurity that is too daunting to face alone. In this I request the wisdom of those who have been there and done that, in the hopes of gaining the most knowledge before taking the plunge.

I grew up in suburban northern California. I've always been a weird kid; hung out with the weird kid clique in high school. I did poorly in high school and at 18 I got a job at a trucking company, and moved out with my girlfriend at the time. I lost contact with my parents and lived life working a stupid job and hanging out with my high school buddies. At 20, I finally applied for college at the behest of a friend, and moved back in with my parents. A good semester later and I was in my own studio apartment, going to school full time and washing dishes at night, mostly on my parent's coin. Life was alright for a while, but into the fall semester my girlfriend left me and I grew even more reclusive than I used to be. Flash forward, I somehow drag through community college and get accepted to a CSU. The summer before I started at CSU, I fell in love with a girl. The same old sad story. I loved her but we had a lot of problems. I fucked some other girl, she started fucking another guy and kept playing me along, la de da... The next spring we violently parted ways and I ended up a bitter alcoholic at 21, drinking at least a 12 pack every night.

While I was washing dishes, I picked up a lot of Spanish. I finally made myself a vacation to Mexico City and I absolutely fell in love. The culture, the people, the sheer change of it all... I won't ever forget. But that's where I fucked that other chick which pissed my girlfriend off and made her fuck around on me, breaking my heart. You can understand the oddness of the situation. So I was drinking in excess, and I made it halfway through my junior year at CSU before I dropped out. I spent the next year and a half just washing dishes and spending every paycheck on booze. About a year ago, I started an apprenticeship at the local Ironworkers union, good pay for hard work. I feel I've immersed myself well in the trade and could succeed if I stick with it. The hard part isn't so much the work as it is dealing with the ex-cons and retard personalities on a power trip. Anywho, I like it but I don't love it. I had always dreamed of majoring in English and becoming an ESL teacher in a foreign country. But that was before, and now I'm becoming more ingrained in the ironworking company I work for, and I see the dollar signs popping up.

It's hard because somedays at this job I love it, and I feel I can do anything this job requires. Other days I hate it and the macho culture and the dangerous working conditions. So a few weeks ago I looked at re-applying to the CSU for my degree. It seems probable that they would accept me again for the winter quarter 2015. But herein lies my quandary:

Do I continue with my English degree, working construction for a few years more, and then switch careers somehow? Move to another country with a TOEFL certificate or something?

Or do I switch to Construction Management and dedicate myself to this business? With 4 years union ironworker experience and that degree, my options would be pretty fuckin' sweet. But, I'd be kinda stuck. My dreams of moving to another country and starting a whole new life and teaching English and living my dream would be shot.

Thing is, I have this nagging feeling that getting the fuck out of one's home country and living a different life somewhere else is truly the greatest decision one could make. Sure, you could go and visit and have vacations, but it isn't really the same. One day I'd like to have a portuguese-speaking wife and have beautiful children with her. But that doesn't seem plausible if I stick with the construction pathway; or at least not as enjoyable. Yet, on the other hand, I surely will have a lot more options with a good-paying career in the construction industry. But I'll just be stuck doing something I really don't like for money, in the same place/culture I grew up in. It just seems like a waste of life.

I'm about to be 24, and have no kids, no girlfriend, nothing really tying me to this place except this job. I'm sorry if my post was confusing, I'm simply torn to bits and I really have no idea what I should focus myself on. I would really appreciate any words of advice at this point. Thank you, TFP.

 

Go back and read what you've written,I'll wait for you .
Okay, now if you read that same thing only written by a total stranger what would your advice be?
I'm guessing that it wouldn't be go for the easy money.
You deserve to make something remarkable out of your Life and you still have the chance .
However, I think you should look into a program for the drinking.
It's real easy to want to make change but sometimes the crap we drag around with us makes it impossible.

 

As others have already mentioned: start by trying to fix yourself first. That will help you stick to a path, once you choose it.

Secondly, from someone who's a lot older than you: at 24, you feel like to have to make all of your life decisions, but you really don't. You can even choose one path now, and change it later in life. You don't have to lock yourself into a single path for life.

You can have a long life to live ahead of you, and lots of time to make choices, but get yourself healthy first. Everything else will flow from that. Regardless of anything else, take care of yourself first and foremost. Life is truly a gift and you have plenty of time to enjoy it.

Good luck!

 

I have friends that work in construction in Singapore. They are working on the large subway projects currently underway here.

There are jobs in management.

I think @Lish has some experience with this sort of work in Dubai.


Ultimately, nobody is responsible for your life but you. If you want a life abroad doing things you find interesting, you have to make that happen. Speaking as someone who is lucky enough to have a life living abroad, it's a great life. Part of getting here was luck, but a good part of it was just becoming good at what I do (not the best, just good).

 

Having just comee back from dubai I have to say that its amazing at yhe amount of work that's been done in the 3 years since I left.

But to get there and probably any other country that thrives on expat resources then you're going to need a) a degree or at the very least a diploma. b) at least 5-10 years experience since management would be where you would want to be.

But in saying that..I say fuck the money. Do what makes you happy. If teaching makes you happy then pursue it. Living unhappily with lots of money is no life at all.

 

I have single male neighbor with BA degree, his electricians license (perhaps by now his master license), and many years of experience as a professional electrician. His only financial obligations are a relatively small mortgage payment, and other 'minor' bills related to home ownership. No SO, no pets, no elderly parents, etc.

If I were in his shoes, I'd gladly head overseas for the adventure AND the money.