Issues Being a Surrogate.....

So, a friend of mine and I were talking earlier. She's 35, single and an instructor at a large university. We talked for about an hour about different things.... camping, traveling, school, etc.
Then the conversation turned to sex and her not using the pill or other chemical/hormone type birth control methods. Odd turn of the conversation but I was game listening.
But was wondering where this was heading.....
She then asked if I would be a "surrogate father" to her baby. I was kinda surprised, and asked" you mean like a sperm donor?"
"Yes exactly"
So any thoughts on this? Legal, moral, something I haven't considered?

 

Yea, there's a huge body of law when it comes to surrogates, including the enforceability of the surrogate agreement, issues with your parental rights, and issues with child support (including the fact that, depending on the jurisdiction, you may still be on the hook for care of the child). Keep that in mind, and consult with a lawyer in your jurisdiction before proceeding on a surrogate arrangement.

 

_Admiral Ackbar Quote_

 

I assume that dodger01 isn't as good looking as you and doesn't have women throwing themselves at him for his precious bodily fluids.

 

Yeah, the more I read about it the weirder it gets. In Pennsylvania, an anonymous sperm donor was found liable in court for child support.
In florida a simple written agreement works.
Most states require that the procedure be supervised by a medical professional. And no personal physical contact.
Way to complicated.....
--- merged: Apr 3, 2012 at 3:56 PM ---

Hey!! Looks aren't everything..... Maybe she wants the brains behind the fluid...
--- merged: Apr 3, 2012 at 3:58 PM ---

As in "It's a TRAP"?
My best guy friend said essentially the same thing....
and from Monty Python "Run Away, Run Away..."

 

Hi, dodger01

My best girl-friend asked me to ask one of my friends to be a sperm doner for her. Not me, because, we worked out, there was no way she or I could or would want to have a sense of distance from each other. I phoned my friend, and he (to my total lack of surprise) refused, saying that there's no way he'd enter into fathering a child with the notion that he would not be actively involved in the parenting. Think about this, and put yourself into her, my, and my friend's shoes.

Let's face it, you've been taken by surprise, and like you say in your post, there's loads of angles. All I can say is Good Luck to you as you think through it, because you need to predict the implications to your feelings regarding her, and "your" ... well, actually YOUR child.

The following may or may not be relevant, and I'm including it only because I'd rather err on the side of over-completeness. Quite early in life, I reckon I made a decisons to be childless. Now I reconsider, and confirm that I made the right decision, however, its rightness feels like it was based more on 'how things have turned out' rather than on any great wisdom on my part. As I look at various kinds of loneliness I have been experiencing these last few years, I know I could have tipped into bitterly regretting having no kids. As it happens, I did NOT. but I could have. What I'm getting at, Dodger, is that there are a variety of scenarios to consider. Hah - maybe I can condense my thuoghts into the following questions for you to ask yourself "How will I, Dodger, to my best guess or estimate, feel about this now, in 9 months time, in 3 years time, 7, 17, 21 years time? During those time frames, what kind of contact or lack of contact do I envisage myself having with my female friend or 'my child'. During those times, what implications are there if I get into a relationship with a woman, and what if she and I should have a child that we intend to co parent"

Pardon me for going around the houses a bit ... it's taking a lot of chewing over and digesting.

All the best

 

It will be your child, and regardless of agreements with the mother, the law is pretty hard wired to go after the actual father for support, if things go wonky. I'd never agree to do this myself.

 

Yep. Even if your state allows male surrogates with a properly executed agreement and supervision by a medical professional, a child support case can be filed in a state with different laws and then transferred to yours. If you do this, you will be financially responsible for the child. No contract or pre-existing legal arrangement will change that.

 

Why do I feel like Rodney Dangerfield would be the man to consult on this issue?

 

RD: "I told my son, I said 'kid, one day you will have kids of your own,' he said 'so will you'"

 

Of course, there's always the option of offering to father her child and live together to raise it.

Someone should think up a snappy name for it....

 

Maury.

 

Is this one of those jokes that you need to be American to get?

 

You're in the UK, right? Think Jeremy Kyle but more shameless.

 

Is that even physically possible?

 

AMERICA!

​

 

Well I think I'd have kicked the ginger kid....