I'm pretty psyched about tomorrow. Anniversary party for my parents.

Next week is my parents' 35th wedding anniversary. They were High School sweethearts, had me a little over a year later, two more kids after that, and have basically lived happily ever after. I've rarely seen two people as in love and happy with their relationship as they are, and I know it's real because I lived in the same house as them for 19 years and saw it in action. I honestly have no memories of my parents even arguing in front of me after I was 3-4 years old (and even those are pretty vague and nothing noteworthy). Though it kind of grossed me out as a young teenager, I was just as likely to walk in the kitchen and see them kissing, or see them holding hands in the front seat of the car on a road trip, as not. They really set a good example for my brother, sister, and I.

Anyway, not to bore you with too many details, but we usually get the family together every year on their anniversary. The last several years it's usually been to a restaurant, I buy dinner for everyone (I'm the oldest and financially most comfortable), all of us give them gifts, and it's basically just a happy family gathering. Well this year, in recognition of their 35th, we are throwing a surprise party for them. There is a local wine bar that my wife and I, and my parents, are members of (wine club they have). My wife and I are there a lot, so the owner offered to close the entire place down for the evening for free (we are paying for the wine, obviously) to let us have the party there. We are catering food from a local restaurant, and a about 20-25 of their long time friends will be there. These are all people that they've been friends with since I was a kid, some from before I was even born. They have friends coming in from Oregon, Wisconsin, and all over IL, and my parents have no clue. They think we are stopping for a glass of wine before dinner. I can't wait to see the looks on their faces when they walk in.

 

I'm hoping it will, and I'm pretty optimistic. A lot of time, effort, expense, and surreptitious planning went into it. My parents are too smart to be easily surprised, and we really have been working to fool them. Even if they suspect we are doing something, I think they'll be floored that their best friends from Oregon flew in to be there, and some of their other close friends drove several hours.

 

Thanks guys. I'll try to post in more detail later, but it went awesomely. They were shocked and impressed.

 

First of all, everyone that RSVP'd was there, and was on time or early, important for a good surprise party. Second of all, they were completely shocked, and it was awesome to watch. They thought we were stopping at one of our favorite wine bars for a glass of wine before dinner. My brother and his wife were riding with them, so my brother could text me and keep me updated when they were on their way so we could have everyone ready at the exact right time. The wine bar is maybe 25-30' wide by 75-80' deep. The bar is an "L" shape starting about 1/4 of the way down on the left side. We were trying to figure out the best way to really surprise them without a space for everyone to hide. I suggested that my sister, her husband, my wife, and I stand behind the bar. I figured that would grab their attention right away as they wouldn't expect us to be standing there. Then we had all of the rest of the guests (22 in all) sit at the bar with their backs to the door like they were customers. We placed my parents' closest friends, the ones who had traveled from Wisconsin and Oregon, at the far end from the door. It worked perfectly.

My parents walked in and saw me standing at the bar, and they both looked at me with a weird look on their faces. They took a few steps in and saw the first few friends and their jaws dropped. Then they saw that more friends were sitting right next to them. They started walking down the line greeting each couple in amazement. My mom refused to look past who she was talking to because she was in so much shock she said she didn't think she could handle it. When she got near the end she literally screamed and started crying when she saw her two best friends (the first from WI, the other from OR). It was awesome.

My sister did a great job in planning her portion as well. She asked each couple who came to write a paragraph or poem to my parents, and each one obliged. My sister put them all in a nice album. After we ate everyone took turns standing up and reading what they had written. Most of the time all the girls were crying, and some of the guys too. When they heard what my wife and I put together, my mom was crying and even my dad started crying, probably only the 2-3rd time in my life I've seen that. It took him several minutes to even get out a complete sentence without breaking down. It was an extremely meaningful time, especially having close family and close, life-long friends there to share it with.

My sister and I put a lot of time and effort into arranging this, we've been working on it since October. We were really hoping it would be a surprise, and that everyone could make it, and it exceeded our greatest expectations. The caterers did a great job, we had the perfect amount of food, the bartenders were absolutely awesome, and everyone had a great time.

 

Kind of a funny tidbit on the side. My brother recently relocated for a new job, and being younger and not as established doesn't have a whole lot of extra money. So my sister and I agreed to let him contribute whatever he felt he could (ended up being $200), and that we would split the rest of the bill for the party and just tell my parents it was from all of us combined. Today I'm sitting here calculating up the split between my sister and I. She paid for some things directly (cake, some gifts, etc.) and I paid for some things directly (caterer, bar tab, invitations, etc.). Knowing my portion was going to be higher, she also cut me a check a couple of weeks ago for about what we thought the balance of her half would be. After everything was said and done, we were within $.31 of splitting it exactly in half.

I'm impressed with my siblings that we can pull something like this off. Not just to do it, but to do it with so amicably and without stressing each other out. I feel pretty blessed to have a family who gets along so well, actually enjoys each other's company, and doesn't have drama over stupid stuff.

One of the bartenders at the wine place, who knows our family well from us being in there so often, said the same thing. I told her it was my parents' fault. They are the ones who raised us to be that way.

 

This has got me rubbing my hands together and forming an evil plot in my own mind. My parents just celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary, and we didn't really do anything for it because my dad just had his hip replaced. I am thinking it might be fun to organize a 30.5 anniversary party for them this summer. I'll have to start emailing possible co-conspirators.

 

Thanks all for the kind words. I humbly agree that my immediate family is wonderful.

If it makes anyone feel any better, most of my extended family is extremely dysfunctional. I won't go into great detail, but everything I have in abundance in my immediate family I completely don't have with any extended family. I've been married almost 14 years and my wife has never met about half of my aunts and uncles, my grandmother, or most of my cousins.

I think our core family unit really pulled together during my teenage years because of some horrible things happening with extended family. My parents worked hard to shield us from it, and my father worked hard to help my mother deal with it (mostly involved her siblings and mother). It brought us together, and even into adulthood my parents have worked to keep all of us relatively close to each other. I credit most of the good I have in me, and the good things I've done, to my parents example, and the principles they taught me about life.