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I Really Love You....But C'mon!

Discussion in 'Tilted Life and Sexuality' started by AlterMoose, Apr 16, 2012.

  1. AlterMoose

    AlterMoose Slightly Tilted

    Location:
    Pangaea
    If you're married or in a commited, long-term/lifelong relationship, I want this to be for you. We all obviously are madly, deeply, desperately in love with our SO's, or we wouldn't be with them, right? But once in a while, they can drive us up the wall like no one else can! And when that happens, sometimes there are things we want to say that we know we could never take back, so--if we are wise--we keep it to our damned selves.

    I give you this thread, dear ones, to say the things you could not say to your SO's collective face. Here, there is no reproach, no retaliation. I, in my wisdom and benevolence, grant to you absolution. Here, you may let it out.

    Like, while sometimes it's my fault when things go fucko, sometimes my wife is just the Prime Minister of Crazybitchikstan. I'll love her for all time, but once in a while she's just batshit.
     
    AlterMoose, Apr 16, 2012
    #1
  2. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    The list is too long...

    While my wife is the most compatible with me...we click in many ways.
    She is not AT ALL a shy person...it is like living with Cher, Madonna & Elizabeth Taylor combined.

    She doesn't have a DROP of patience.
    And she has more quirks & peccadilloes...

    Finally, she doesn't know the meaning of financial discretion.
    If I wasn't constantly on the ball, she'd spend us out of house & home.

    But then again, she puts up with me...I'm absent-minded, talkative & overly-analytical

    -------

    I'll give you an example...the other day her mom was stupid enough to invite her to an auction...
    I told her enjoy watching her parents, but don't buy anything, we're on a budget this week.
    (I look at the bank account, she doesn't...)

    So later she calls me and says, she bought nothing but a small gift for me...and that she's the most awesome wife in the world who thinks about me.
    Which is nice...but I'm cringing, it's an auction...it's done.

    She comes home, makes me close my eyes...and hands me a "wand"
    An amethyst wand with quarz, malachite soldered by silver.
    Saying the guy said this was a rare, "mystical magical amethyst dungeons & dragons wand"
    And that he'd give her $900 up front for it.

    Now I'm thinking several things...one that's pretty cool.
    two, it's very nice that she was thinking about me and wanted to connect with my D&D gaming.
    three, "mystical magical" and "D&D" wand? never heard of it...she got duped.
    And last, WTF did she pay for it???

    So, she didn't want to tell me what she bought it for...but it was worth a lot.
    (she got into a bidding war with this one guy...but she got it for a "steal")
    And I could tell she wanted me to be totally excited, love her for it and was proud of herself for finding it.
    So I told her I'd go look up the meaning of the wand on the Net.

    Now, don't get me wrong...I like it, it's cool.
    I'm going to show it to my friends. And I love her for it.
    But there's also the cynical and practical side of me...the detective side.

    So I go on the web and confirm what I thought already, there's no such thing with the phrase given to her.
    There are D&D wands...but they look nothing like this.
    But under amethyst wands, that's what it looks like.
    They are wiccan/mystic ritual wands...with symbolic meanings for the parts.
    Ok, cool...interesting, gives some background.

    Now I start seeing the prices...they range between $50-$250
    So, I look into our bank account...to see where we are at.
    Bam! $150 spent.

    My heart sinks, I quickly do calculations in my head to the trailing impact...

    I'm tired...I feel like Lucy has pulled the football from this Charlie Brown once more.
    I have to somehow, be real...diplomatically make her aware of the consequences...she's an adult too.

    But also I appreciate my gift (without selling it to that guy, for whatever he'd give us)
    And show my wife that I love her thinking of me.
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2012
    rogue49, Apr 17, 2012
    #2
  3. Hektore

    Hektore Slightly Tilted

    I think these feelings are sometimes best left repressed.
     
    Hektore, Apr 17, 2012
    #3
  4. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    My husband is diagnosed as ADHD type inattentive, and while he generally copes well with it, sometimes it just doesn't happen. Example: he texts me because I haven't come home from work yet. Well, yeah, I am babysitting so-and-so; I told you last night. No, you didn't, he says. Facepalm. It isn't worth arguing because he will insist I didn't tell him.

    I've learned to roll with it, though, and try to be good about making sure I have his ENTIRE attention.
     
    snowy, Apr 17, 2012
    #4
  5. Stan

    Stan Resident Dumbass

    Location:
    Colorado
    My wife tends to solve problems by making them my problem.

    This weekend, she cleaned up the basement and piled everything she wasn't sure about in front of my tools and workbench. Umm, gee thanks dear, I'm dying to spend a couple of days finishing YOUR project, so that I can resume what I intended to work on.
     
    Stan, Apr 17, 2012
    #5
    • Like Like x 2
  6. Plan9

    Plan9 Rock 'n Roll

    Location:
    Earth
    Ugh, I can't stand it when sh...

     
    Plan9, Apr 17, 2012
    #6
    • Like Like x 2
  7. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    You mean she looks over your shoulder when you're typing on the message board???
    Damn, looks like another thing to add to your list. ;)
     
    rogue49, Apr 18, 2012
    #7
  8. Plan9

    Plan9 Rock 'n Roll

    Location:
    Earth
    rogue49,

    Example:

    Today, she came home angry from taking the last test for her second Master's degree.

    "I'm really worried about my test. I'm going to suck your cock." And then she did.

    ...

    Just when I think I have something to post in this thread, things take a fun turn.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2012
    Plan9, Apr 18, 2012
    #8
  9. Fangirl

    Fangirl Very Tilted

    Location:
    Arizona
    Did someone say 'inattentive?'
    My spouse is Schizoid.
    He's like an absented-minded 'Data' except Data pined to know what it felt like to be human. Spouse knows no other way to be and sees no benefit in being 'emotional.'
     
    Fangirl, Apr 18, 2012
    #9
  10. Remixer

    Remixer Middle Eastern Doofus

    Location:
    Frankfurt, Germany
    Similar situation as Plan9 's, but not quite.

    My fiancée becomes unbelievably stupid when she's around or sees cute animals, and gets this "incredible" urge to cuddle them. Not just live ones, but stuffed toy animals as well. She shrieks in this really high pitch and talks a whole bunch of gibberish. Shutting her up is next to impossible, unless she gets to cuddle it (which ends in purring). I usually leave the room/mute her on Skype, otherwise my nerves would be at their end very quickly.
     
    Remixer, Apr 18, 2012
    #10
  11. SirLance

    SirLance Death Therapist

    Location:
    Where you least expect me
    If my words are sharp, dear, it's from constantly having to fit them in edgewise.

    If NASA had known about you, they could have saved a shitload of money. You clearly do not need to breathe....
     
    SirLance, Apr 18, 2012
    #11
    • Like Like x 1
  12. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Damn, it's sounds like she ruined your focus on what you were saying for this thread.
    That sux.
    She's making you biased towards her, not letting you finish your thoughts.
    Geez, this one you've just GOT TO list down. :rolleyes:
     
    rogue49, Apr 18, 2012
    #12
  13. Lindy

    Lindy Moderator Staff Member

    Location:
    Nebraska
    My guy Sig absolutely loves dogs. Big dogs, little dogs, purebreds, mongrel mutts, puppies, doddering grampa dogs...
    I think that dogs are noisy, smelly, fur shedding shit factories.
    I don't hate dogs, I just can't see what the fuss is all about.
    I am, at best, indifferent to dogs.
    If all dogs disappeared off the face of the earth tomorrow morning, I wouldn't care. It would probably take me a while to notice...

    So, the next time Sig starts talking about how nice it would be for us to get a dog... I'll distract him with his favorite blow job/titfuck combo.:)

    Lindy
     
    Lindy, Apr 18, 2012
    #13
    • Like Like x 1
  14. CinnamonGirl

    CinnamonGirl The Cheat is GROUNDED!

    Location:
    Central Republic of Where-In-The-Hell
    Oh, man, that made me laugh. Lordeden and I are the exact same way, except *I'm* the one who adores dogs, and he is not a fan. But...we have two, so I can't complain.
     
    CinnamonGirl, Apr 18, 2012
    #14