I am Bipolar. should I take medicine?

HI, I posted here before for my love life which didn't go that well
anyway

I want to hear something from people.
Right now, I am going through series of therapy and meeting psychiatrist to find out if I am bipolar or just simply depressed.

I have ups and downs and I thought it is normal.
I have this constant thoughts of "end this life and restart another one" in my head..
my psychologist said that sounds like suicidal thoughts and I also have some very nasty hallucinations...that's why they were leaning toward Depression.

However, I know I can go manic and i am not down all the time.
Today, my friends sad "you are happy for 3 days a week and sad for 4 days a week!"
and they were like "you talk with no emotions but you smile...I am not sure you are angry or happy!"
If I had no problem, I would just laugh it off and say "yeah I am kinda weird" but I am going through this time of finding out what is wrong with me and how I should be treated or not.

I told my psychiatrist and psychologist that I am not going take any medication. I don't want to be changed too much or be fake about my emotions but something it is very hard and I don't want to lose my friends or be a loner.

my friends know nothing about the therapy and what I am going through...
I don't want to tell them

It hurts me little when they say "hey you are too hyper!" or "what is wrong with you, are you mad?" I know these are normal things but considering my situation, it hurts...it makes me wonder if I am seriously sick mentally and really need to take medication or not.

I am considering medication options but I think I am doing fine.
I am getting good grades and I have more responsibility than others
there are this phrase - "if it works, don't fix it"
I am living my life well, except the fact I have serious mood swings that my friends make fun of time to time.

what should I do?
Should I just act like there is nothing wrong with me?
I don't know...I know all of you must say "take the medication!" or something like that
but....the possible things can happen or change if I take medication and I wouldn't be in control of the change..

Just share your thoughts here..thanks...

 

I know people who are bipolar. When they take their meds they are the nicest people you could meet. When they aren't on their meds its a different story. No opinion, I'd take em

 

I think there's a lot of perceived stigma still out there about taking psychopharmaceuticals. And I also think that-- especially in America-- we do over-prescribe them.

But that said, there is a time and place for everything, and when it's crunch time, psychopharmaceuticals-- if prescribed correctly by a thoughtful and careful psychopharmacologist-- work, and work big time.

There is more to life than getting good grades/getting your job done. The idea that if you're getting work done and fulfilling duties you don't need medicine is, IMO, painfully utilitarian. And people don't work on utilitarian principles.

I say this, I freely admit, without knowing you, and without full context of the situation, but based upon your posts, you are not happy.

I've got a couple of friends who are bipolar, and control it with meds. They do just fine, and live happy, fulfilling lives. And they have both noted that, besides the usual and expected "evening out" that the meds do for them, they say that they feel less tired, more focused, and less anxious-- which they attribute to the fact that cycling between manic and depressive, dealing with altered states, and all the rest of that stuff is exhausting...more than they ever realized, before they weren't doing it.

Don't think about this as "Am I sick in the head? Is there something really wrong with me?" Think of this as a treatable condition, no different than asthma or mild diabetes: if treated properly, it will not perceptibly interfere with your life at all. If left untreated, your quality of life will continue to suffer, and may get worse.

You deserve to be happy. You deserve to get the most out of your life. And while it would be a shame if you didn't get the most out of your life when you might easily do so, it would be a thrice-damnable shame if you didn't do so because you thought that if you took medicine it would be a sign of weakness or would cause other people to judge you.

That said, you mustn't expect miracles. You have to be willing to give this a very long shot if you're going to try medication: you need to make sure you have the right combination of therapist and psychopharmacologist, and you may need to try different medications, or combinations of medications, before you find what works, and works best, with the fewest side effects. And generally, that means many weeks on a medication or cocktail of medications before evaluating them. Your life almost certainly will not change overnight, but that's all the more reason to start the process now, when your symptoms are not at a place where you are finding it impossible to get by every day.

Again I will say it: you deserve to be happy, and you deserve to get the most out of your life. Why would you choose otherwise?

 

Fine, I'll be that guy. No. Don't go on meds... Yet.

There are other options rather than throwing our typical western medicine solution at it. I've known several folks who have had great luck in managing Bipolar with acupuncture and/or therapy. The difficulty is that the regiment is similar to taking meds in that it must stay regular and not drop off just because you are feeling great for a few days.

Loosing the high of the manic episodes is why many folks with bipolar go off their meds. They have reported feeling muted, or dull compared to how they "normally" feel. Managing these episodes rather than deleting them could go a long way toward quality of life.

I am not bipolar, however I am prescribed and do take psychotropic meds so it's not that I'm against them. I believe that there are other things to try than meds, and if those things don't work, the meds are there. It is important to be in touch with yourself during this process though. No matter what route you go meditate, check-in with yourself constantly and be honest with how you feel. Lying to yourself will only cause pain to everyone in the long run.

As a disclaimer... My suggestion is based on several hundred words that you wrote on a public forum. The best route to go is the one that you and your support team (family, therapist(s), etc.) feel is best.

 

You are far from alone. I am not bi-polar, but have always had the highs - and who would want to not have them - and the lows. At work I used to say that it was the orange juice I was drinking (worked in a bar at the time) - one chap even begged me to have rum instead of orange, as he said it made me 'jibber away like a barbary ape'.
I had pills for depression which made me realize what depressed really was. I feared losing myself taking them. I asked my doctor if it would be an idea to increase my seratonin levels - yes he said - so I started taking Borage/Starflower/The herb that cheers - as it was known to the Romans.
Instead of drugs, I decided I wanted to learn the tricks other people had to cope with things that I seemed sadly lacking in. I have been diagnosed as aggoraphobic. Next week I start group therapy for people with my type pf problems. I will give it a go, I have to. I am dog dependent, and my dog is 20 now, and has a grade four heart murmer - our time left together is on a countdown - I fear losing Tim. I am tired of being left behind......
One place that I did find helped was a Buddhist monastary where one of the monks went through simple meditation, using breathing. Only for about an hour - but when I left I had dropped off all the worry and the weight that goes with it.
Often I feel like the old bag lady in Labyrinth, weighed down with all this crap I cant seem to let go of.

View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6IeD49ADPg

A friend who is bi-polar gets what she calls 'delusions of grandeur' - she once nearly signed to buy a massive house which she could never have afforded, but it made sense at the time. Her brother talked her out of it. Diagnosis over here is the hard part - she only got diagnosed after she broke down, having cared for her dying mother and after her death, falling apart.
It would, I think, be of benefit to you to have someone in your life who understands. I have other friends who are 'spiritualy bruised'. We know that someone is there who will listen and try to be understanding - that helps. You at least will find support on here.
All I can suggest is to do what feels best for you - obviously I am not pro drugs myself.

 

I see no problem with trying therapy first, but are you going to be able to judge if it is working or not? It seems that you have been observed by others as being bipolar/depressed. Are these others going to continually assess you, honestly, so you know if you are improving or not, or are they going to say what they think you want to hear to give you support?

You seem to have an aversion to taking medication for it, so are you going to be objective enough to say the therapy alone is not working? I'm related to several people who are obviously in need of medication, but they lie to themselves that they are fine without it. The rest of us suffer through.

 

Your friends may know more than you think.
Find someone close to you to open up to about this.
Notice that multiple posters here mentioned having bipolar friends. Your real friends aren't going to ditch you for getting help for this, whatever that help may turn out to be. And having someone you can talk to about this could go a long way toward helping you deal with it.

 

I take medication for "stuff". Now while it does help me, it is not a cure. It only lessens what I suffer from. Also the withdrawals are a son of a bitch.