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Have you ever been homeless?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by genuinemommy, Jan 5, 2015.

  1. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    Have you ever been homeless?
    This doesn't have to mean impoverished.
    I just mean - have you ever found yourself without a home to call your own?

    Maybe you moved back in with parents, a brother, or a friend. Maybe you contributed a little financially or maybe not at all. Or maybe you had a job where you worked so much it didn't matter to you that you were couch-surfing.

    Hubby said something the other day that really took me aback. But it's true. We are presently homeless.

    We are staying with his brother's family while we are in-transition between the rental property that we left and the home that we will inevitably purchase. This arrangement is not by necessity, but by choice. It certainly helps us financially that they offered to take us in for a few months - and it absolutely helps us emotionally to stay with family as we learn our way around the new city.

    This has happened to us twice in our married life, and one other time in my personal life. One time I was working insane hours and either crashed in the storage room at work or on a friend's couch, I would stay with my parents for a few days here and there if I happened to get a weekend off. Another time hubby and I decided to move in with his parents after we were married because we were in transition between undergrad and grad school, and we didn't want to live in a month-to-month apartment. I never looked at either of these instances as homelessness until I brought our child into this lifestyle. Couch surfing with a toddler is absolutely different than couch-surfing as a single young adult. Even if the home where you're couch surfing happens to have a spare bedroom for you and another toddler living there, too. I try to think of it as an extended vacation, but as the time wears on it becomes increasingly apparent that this is not and never will be our home.

    We recently encountered another adult, a man who is in his late 30's who has a storage locker to his name and nothing else. He works as an airline pilot, taking on crazy hours and days-long shifts where his job puts him up 4-5 days out of each week. With all of his time off, he travels to various cities and countries, staying with friends and family, or staying in cheap hotels in foreign countries. He describes himself as homeless. Sure, he has no home. But he's also not pan-handling with his spare time.

    What about you? Have you ever been homeless?
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2015
    genuinemommy, Jan 5, 2015
    #1
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  2. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Well, I wouldn't call it "homeless", but I have stayed at a relative's place briefly while re-establishing myself in a new area.

    I moved into my mother's apt a few months before we both were going to move from Coast to Coast.
    On the other end, she put everything in storage...then went off on a temp nursing gig.

    Me, I stayed in my aunt & uncle's basement. (comfortable, fully furnished, my own bathroom)
    I didn't know the Mid-Atlantic after being in San Diego for 12 years...didn't know where I wanted to go...or where the market was.
    Thought I might like Virginia Beach...being like SD...but no jobs there.

    In a few weeks...I found myself often going up to Northern VA and DC for interviews. Got 3 offers at once, picked one.
    And decided to move near my cousin in Prince William county...commuting to McLean every day. (Hey, I said I didn't know the area...yes, the trip was hell on 66)
    Moved right into a 2 bedroom nice apt. (much better than SD, pay is better too)

    And with various shit contracts and life challenges, certainly have been close to not paying rent.
    Shit happens, you deal with it.

    But nowhere near what my Mom's cousin was like...out on the street, in the weather...and using the shelter facilities, if there's room.
    I've got too many resources, too many options to go that far.

    ---------

    But hey, transitioning is a challenge...if you don't know what you want, where you are, etc.
    It's nothing hanging with family or friends.
    Just don't be that guest that never leaves. (and a good guest too...hell, I kept my Aunt's basement spotless...still hear about it to this day...15 yrs later :rolleyes: )
     
    rogue49, Jan 5, 2015
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  3. Daniel_

    Daniel_ The devil made me do it...

    Location:
    The United Kingdom, naturally
    After 4 years of university, I returned to my parents house aged 23, and lived with them for six months before buying my own place with my first wife (before we married).

    Shortly afterwards my contract ended, and for most of a year I was out of work. My fianceés wages covered her car and our mortgage, and my unemployment benefit covered food (if we ate cheap), so I used to spend all day in the library for warmth, rather than run the heating, and cycle to my parents house for baths and to do laundry to save electricity.

    Every Sunday we ate at their house, which we continued doing for another eight years, until our divorce.
     
    Daniel_, Jan 5, 2015
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  4. POPEYE

    POPEYE Very Tilted

    Location:
    Tulsa
    Thinking over it, the one time I moved back in with my parents. just got outa the Air Force, spent a month with them. my Dad handed me 500.00$, back then that was like a couple thousand, told me to move out and do it on my own. I have not been homeless since, I have not been totally successful either. after all the places I have lived and moved my family around to...I may not like my double wide but I like the fact that this is finally my home. My pictures on the walls, my pot to pee in, as we say.
     
    POPEYE, Jan 5, 2015
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  5. Plan9

    Plan9 Rock 'n Roll

    Location:
    Earth
    I lived out of a truck for a year once.

    Used the hood as a kitchen/coffee table, had a boom box wired up to the dash, shaved every morning using side view mirrors, kept everything I owned in a big backpack and pocketed large amounts of food from whatever dining halls would let me in...

    /GWoT
     
    Plan9, Jan 5, 2015
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  6. redravin

    redravin Cynical Optimist Donor

    Location:
    North
    After I moved out on my own with my then girlfriend at the tender age of seventeen we lived with another couple.
    I went to school during the day and worked at a 24 hour convenience store at night.
    One day we came home to find all our stuff out on the lawn and the other couple had brought friends over to keep us from getting back in.
    So I called my most loved and loyal punk rock family to come help get our stuff, all wife beater shirts, engineer boots, brass knuckles, and mohawks.
    We stayed at their house for a couple of days before my future wife freaked out and demanded we find somewhere else to crash.
    Things like walls built out of cases of empty Guinness bottles and butchered moose hanging in the back room freaked her out a bit.
    So we stayed at various peoples house for a couple of months until we saved up enough to get our own place.
    The one thing I learned from that is always have the lease in your name and maybe I should have paid more attention to her reaction to the people I cared about.
     
    redravin, Jan 5, 2015
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  7. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    Not really. We lived with my parents for a few months at one point. I had a near miss right as I met my now husband; fortunately, he was willing to let me move in. Worked out well.
     
    snowy, Jan 5, 2015
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  8. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    My mother is the most straight-laced organized hard-working saintly person I know...and even she's had her fill.

    My father bounced us around before she divorced him.
    We lived with my grandparents, until she got her BA in nursing.
    We had one complex force us to move since they were turning into condos.
    Another place we had to move because the oil furnace was killing us.
    Another place we had the lease in her name...turned out the leaser wasn't the true owner of the house...had to move.
    Another the landlord tried to hustle us for all the repairs on his house. (she won in court for that one)

    Shit happens...even to the best of people.
    And there are rotten ones everywhere. :mad:

    All you can do...is do your best.
    We all get by with a little help from our friends (and family) :cool:
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2015
    rogue49, Jan 5, 2015
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  9. ASU2003

    ASU2003 Very Tilted

    Location:
    Where ever I roam
    Being a nomad by choice is a little different than being a poor homeless person. While technically I have never not had an apartment or house, it is only a matter of time. And by that I mean if I ever lose my job or if I quit it, I will consider living a nomadic lifestyle for a while. I have been practicing and know how to survive with only the stuff I can carry on a bicycle for a few weeks from experience. Backpacking in hostels and car camping in free national forests too. I haven't done the liveaboard sailboat thing yet, but I know people who have and it looks like a real possibility. The thing is that I have no clue what my chances of finding a relationship would be if I did this. Now, my chances here in my house aren't much better, and are probably much worse since I don't see many like-minded people in my daily life.

    The other possibility is if a few certain people become President, I think I might have to travel the world for at least 4 years... I may rent my house while I am gone, but I would like to try living someplace else anyways. I have lived through enough winters and there is the whole world out there to explore..
     
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2015
    ASU2003, Jan 5, 2015
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  10. Chris Noyb

    Chris Noyb Get in, buckle up, hang on, & be quiet.

    Location:
    Large City, TX
    Homeless, no.

    My wife & I did live with her parents when I was very close to finishing my degree and could only take the classes during the day. At the same time I was fired from my job--which gave me some flexibility in my hours--for standing up to one of the company owners who used the people in our department at his whim, regardless of our work schedule and the urgency of our work.

    Rant on--"If the attorney is complaining about the turnaround time for his records, why don't you explain to him how you frequently disrupt the appointments that I bust my ass to schedule by pulling the people from our department to run errands for "your" side of the company? No, I won't take your depositions to the airport because I'm still trying to reschedule the appointments that you fucked-up by pulling our fields reps to run your errands. Don't bitch about our department when you treat it like a red-haired stepchild."--Rant off.
     
    Chris Noyb, Jan 6, 2015
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  11. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    I wonder if there is a certain "shame" or onus on people to have their own place. (especially in the US)

    As if you are not fully an adult...or you are lacking...if you don't rent or own.
    And you have to stay with another, even for a brief time.

    So, what does this say about our society??

    Don't actors go from job to job?
    Don't politicians pander to their supporters...hustling for funding?
    Don't lawyers feed off of the chaos that another is going through. (prosecution or defense...or business)
    Don't high powered CEO's make money by marking up products & services to their highest possible...and keep their costs (and people perhaps) to their lowest.

    What is success?
    What is established?

    Transition is natural...who is better? The person who stays no matter what...or the person who's willing to move. We don't often know what's on the other side of the hill.
    Didn't Marco Polo live to move?
    Rock Stars? from location to location.
    Doctors without borders

    These are extreme examples...but who's to say who should do what and how.
    I find most people rationalize their past and situation...those who say you've not been established...forget their own climb and dance.

    I say, make the move, do what you need...who cares what is appropriate.
    As long as you don't overdo it...screw everyone else that says shit.

    A home is where the heart is, as they say.
    Any port in a storm.
    A ceiling over your head.

    There are anchors and there are adventurers.
    And one person can both at different times in their life.

    I can only hope that those who want a home...or a place to call their own...can attain that for their own sense of mind and well-being.
    Life is change.
    I question those who say, "I've got mine" and look less on others.
    Stability is relative.
     
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2015
    rogue49, Jan 6, 2015
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  12. Stan

    Stan Resident Dumbass

    Location:
    Colorado
    I'm not sure I'd call it homeless. I've been between housing situations for several weeks before. Generally, it's been a matter of moving and not wanting or being able to have 2 places at once.

    The last time was 15 yrs ago when I needed to start a new job 6 weeks before closing on a house. I lived in an RV for 6 weeks in CO, while my wife packed up in IL. It sucked; but was necessary.
     
    Stan, Jan 6, 2015
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  13. omega

    omega Very Tilted

    I lived with my parents for a few months when I moved back from Georgia (school) to Maryland. My ex wife (fiancée at the time) lived in our spare bedroom in the basement. When we moved west, we lived in a hotel for nine days while our house was under construction. Our house back in Maryland still was for sale. So for a couple months we owned two houses.
     
    omega, Jan 6, 2015
    #13
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  14. ralphie250

    ralphie250 Fully Erect

    Location:
    At work..
    yes, when my wife and i first got married, remember we were 18, we moved to tennessee so i could go to college, and learned the hard way that if you didnt pay rent they throw your shit out on the street, luckily we only had a bed, a couch, and a tv. we lived in a hotel for about a month until we got back on our feet. we never told our parents cause we were ashamed.
     
    ralphie250, Jan 6, 2015
    #14
  15. ASU2003

    ASU2003 Very Tilted

    Location:
    Where ever I roam
    I think most things are set up with the expectation that you will live in a house or rent an apartment (lease, condos, whatever). From getting mail at an address, filling out voter registration, crossing international borders, tax forms... I would have no idea how handle the small details of being a nomad.

    The next issue is that if you ever want to get back into a 'standard' lifestyle again, it might be an issue if you were homeless and without a job for a long period of time.
     
    ASU2003, Jan 6, 2015
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  16. oldtimer56

    oldtimer56 umime

    Location:
    East Texas
    Lived in the woods behind a truck stop on US 59. Little group of guys who was down on their luck, mostly due to drugs, divorce, etc. Grazed the grocery stores during the day. At night the cooks at the truckstop left food for the ones that wanted it. Lasted about a year, but it seemed it took forever.
     
    oldtimer56, Jan 11, 2015
    #16