First time at a swinger's club...expectations? preparation?

It looks like my wife and I will be in the vicinity of a "nice" swing club in a couple of months. (We'll be in the area for about a week for business.) Since we've talked about this a lot, fantasized about it and generally let the idea fuel some great sex, I think we might explore this place. But we've not done this before and I'm curious to know, from those of you who have, what we should be concerned about, if anything. What should we talk about prior to a visit? I'm not talking about physical concerns here, but more the emo ones, and questions about rules and boundaries. I've heard that while men are often the first in a couple to mention swinging, it is the woman who really gets into it. Is there a way to prepare for this kind of experience?

 

First things first - don't go in with ANY expectations.

After you have that down, you'll need to see if you can get up with the club owners and ask them for a complete list of rules/regs and then follow up with questions about dues/first visit free etc.
You can also ask if you can come visit before a scheduled event, just to kind of see if it's what it appears to be. Some clubs might look great online, but when you walk in the door, you feel like you need a shower. It also gives you a chance to talk with the "owners" in a more private setting and to see how they act, how hospitable they are and how much pressure to expect. If the owners are pressuring you during this time, then you can expect heavy pressure during an event.

Also, most clubs promote a "whatever you're comfortable with" atmosphere, however, it's usually only the women that approach the couple/interested party. After the woman breaks the ice, then everyone can talk about what they're into etc. Don't be surprised if you feel like your head is spinning by the end of the night, it's a lot to take in and get used to. You usually don't have to worry about single men, as they're usually not allowed unless they're accompanied by a couple for that couple's purpose. You also need to realize that until you find your "home" club, you're going to hear/see/be involved with some sort of drama despite every club saying they are drama free. It's just a natural part of the experience.

If it's your first time, I'd seriously suggest just going as a voyeuristic couple on the first night. It gives you two a chance to kind of get a feel for how everything operates and also allows both of you to restructure your thoughts/boundaries before you jump in headfirst.

Swing clubs are often like fight club... don't talk about it with random people. <<<don't forget it.

 

Hi, clarksdale

I'm ignorant in this area, but I'll tell you what ... Two months to go - eight entire weeks, and you're already having a jolly good think about it ... about what the 'reality' as distinct from the 'fantasy' could mean similarly and differently to each and both of you. Sounds already like a good start.

The reality of the situation
The reality of the Memory of the situation afterward.
How entering that situation for Real will alter the balance of your real relationship with her ... you're already targetting that aspect.

Eight weeks to go, and it's out there, and here, on the table:
In my book, early prepping has a chance to be very good prepping.
Very best wishes to the two of you as you're discussin' and decidin' ...
May the results ...
Preserve the good that the two of you have already got and want to keep and ...
add only that which both of you will happy to have added.

Oh! A thought suddenly boinged into my mind: This prepping ... well worth doing exquisitely, because I bet it will make y'alls fantasy life even more enriched and robust than it already is, regardless of whether you and she decide to go for 'the reality' or not THIS time, or any time, for that matter.

Best wishes

 

Never been. The topic has come up but so far I've been too trepidatious to do more than talk. That said, here is a thread from 4.0 you may want to see. Not sure if there is more in the archives - others with better google-fu may have more for you.
First Time to a Swinger Club - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

 

Thanks - that is helpful

 

MySugarCane and I have been twice, with very different experiences both times (but both very fun!). I'm waiting for her post before I give my thoughts.