First Kiss vs First Sex

I read today that most people remember their first kiss more vividly than losing their virginity, towards the end of this article from the Washington Post about New Year's Eve. Another similar article suggested this is because our first kiss "was an emotional gateway between childhood and adult sexuality that not even sex could replicate."


Is this true for you? Personally, I'd have to say yes. I remember both pretty well, but there's more clarity with the first kiss memory. I can remember everything almost exactly, down to the feel of the grass and the way he smelled. And now that I think about it, that's true for most of my relationships—the rush from our first kiss is more vivid than the first time we slept together.

This is not entirely surprising for me. I love sex, but I've always loved kissing even more. I was a little surprised that in this case, the memory of the first kiss trumps the memory of the first time having sex for other people, as well. I'm interested to hear your own thoughts/experiences on this.

 

Well... I'm a man, so I remember that First Sex a helluva lot more than all the times I first kissed a girl hoping to get said sex.

 

Same,

First sex overall and first sex per partner are both very memorable. First kiss, not so much.

 

Hmm, that's an angle I hadn't considered. Been looking to try and find what the gender split was on the original survey, but I haven't found a definitive answer yet.

 

For me, my first kiss (not counting very early preteen playing) was a matter of moments and "just happened".

My first sex was an event that required planning, shopping, making sure nobody else would be at home (or be looking for either of us).

So I guess I'm saying, sex > kissing

 

Yeah I'm with P9er and the rest of the fellas. I remember the first good old in-n-out much better than the first kiss.
All 15 seconds of it!

 

My experience was similar, kissing my first girl at 14 and losing my virginity some 16 years later.

I remember them both vividly, as they were quite similar experiences- Abrupt, awkward, and the female in question wearing an expression of disappointment/disgust/let's get this the hell over with already.

However, the similarities stop there:

 

I remember both OK. The kiss preceded the sex by around three weeks. I was around thirteen, and had been friends with this girl at Hebrew school for a year or so. She and I didn't go to the same junior high during the day, only shared Hebrew school on Sundays and a couple of afternoon/evenings a week. She was a cheerleader, and though she was way brighter than she pretended to be, she was very much playing it shallow and sharp-- what you might call a Mean Girl these days. In retrospect, I understand that had we gone to the same school, she wouldn't have given me the time of day-- I was at my most rebellious, asocial phase of adolescence at that time. But because we were outside the usual context, she was willing to be friendly with me.

We had flirted a little, and we eventually began confiding some secrets to one another, including stuff about sex. She made it clear that she wanted to do some serious sexual exploration, but didn't want the reputation to go along with that. I was horny, used to being a quiet loner, and more than eager to oblige her. We struck up what today would be referred to as a friends-with-benefits relationship, but because there was no such concept back then, and we had been thoroughly inculcated to believe that sex had to go hand in hand with being in love, we played it like we were having a secret affair. We hooked up semi-regularly for a few months, then she started to cool off a bit, probably when I got too emotionally entangled, and then fortunately for me, my mom moved us to California.

The first kiss was exciting. It was my first kiss, not her first kiss. She taught me how to French kiss, because I had no fucking clue. I only knew what I had seen in movies or TV (of the '70s and early '80s), so I thought there was a whole lot of smacking lips and switching angles of kiss-- I didn't even realize you opened your mouth. So I definitely owe her for that.

The first sex was plenty exciting at the time, though in retrospect, it was just the acme of un-romantic. We were very much learning about one another, and pretty much used one another as anatomy lessons-- "What do you do with this? How does this feel? Show me what you like." Though she was a virgin in the sense of never having had sex with another person, fortunately, her exploratory impulses had relieved her of an intact hymen long before I got there. Good for both of us. So that first time was pleasurable for us both. Short. Very short. But pleasurable. Whereas she had taught me everything about kissing, I taught her some things about sex, because, in anticipation of having sex-- way in anticipation, long before she even hinted that she might want to hook up-- I had already read The Joy of Sex (numerous times, since my parents owned it), and Gray's Anatomy, and some self-help-ish book about intimacy and sex (can't remember the title or author). So I at least had some theoretical game.

It was nice enough, and all, but there was no spark. There never was. I didn't know it until I hooked up with my first real girlfriend, when I was about 16. That was the kiss and the sex worth remembering. That was when it was more than just the excitement of actually getting to see a girl naked, touch a real naked girl, actually have sex. That was when I felt my insides turn over and go loopy at the touch of someone else's lips....

 

I don't really remember the first kiss. I think it was mostly because I was super young and I really only remember the part afterward. After his kissed me, I smacked him and then he went crying to mama. Sigh. Boys.

I remember the first sexual experience. It wasn't really that good either, but at least there were no tears after.

 

I don't remember either one, I was stoned outa my mind.

 

I remember both, but I have to side with niner on this... I remember the first sex a lot more.

The kissing was good. The relationship ended horribly, but lessons were learned.
The sex was awful (from the act to the circumstances and location). There was no relationship, but lessons were learned.