Fat shaming

EDIT: As a 3 time new member, I have apparently not yet to racked up the points that would allow me to link an article. Feel free to google the NBC4 article "KC Pastor Facing Backlash After Posting Viral Video"
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In the above link, a Kansas City pastor is catching quite a bit of flack for recording a video of a morbidly obese woman in a mobility scooter being towed behind a truck after her scooter got stuck in snow and broke down. The general consensus seems to be that the pastor engaged in "fat shaming" when he recorded the video and posted it to his Facebook page. Having spent a fair amount of time on liberal arts college campuses, I am familiar with the term and its connotations.

Some people have a harder time maintaining a healthy weight than others. I get that. I don't think that anyone deserves to be aggressively harassed for being overweight. But it seems to me that the term "fat shaming" has shifted in meaning from aggressive harassment of people being overweight to the point that it now includes any expression that ascribes a negative value to being morbidly obese.

I studied pre-med for two years so I'm basically a licensed doctor in Mexico. To put it in technical terms; being fat as fuck is super unhealthy. I don't think it should be a out-of-bounds to say so publicly or to make an observation (even to make light of) a person suffering from the consequences of their choices.

I believe that morbid obesity is a choice. Referencing the above link, I believe that being so fat that a mobility scooter is required to bus one's fat ass around is a choice. Leaving one's house in the winter without warm clothing is a choice. Doing so in a mobility scooter knowing full-well that if it breaks down, one is physically incapable of surviving is a choice.

It's not my place to say that this woman cannot be fat or leave the house; this is America and people can do what they want with their own bodies. But cannot is not should not. I don't think its out of line to ascribe value to the choices that people make. If someone decides to be fat or get a dick-butt tattoo on their face, it's their choice. Doesn't mean I have to respect it or refrain from mocking them.

Thoughts?

 

You have a right to your opinion.
I don't understand the need to mock a super-fat person, regardless of whether being super-fat is a choice.
I can't pass judgement. I don't have the story of their life in hand to do so, even if I were inclined to try.

 

I don't think fat shaming works. Those people know they are obese. They see it every day. So adding insult to injury isn't going to flip a switch in them that is going to make them say "holy shit?! You mean I'm fat?" That being said, I worry about whether fat acceptance and celebration is going the right way. People like Tess Holliday, who is a size 26 and has 1.2 million followers on instagram. She claims that she is healthy. Clearly delusional. Just because you don't currently have diabetes and heart disease doesn't mean that you are healthy. She is strutting right down that path. The question is, how do we encourage people to be healthier without shaming? How do we say "you are great, and we hope you realize that losing some weight and exercising will make you even better, but you will be so happy when you make that decision on your own and be happy right now until you make that decision to be better than you already are".

 

I work with people who have disabilities and being morbidly obese is counted as a disability.
There are so many reasons for it that are usually tied into other disabilities that you wouldn't believe.
We have have a lot of people who come in who say the problem is they are obese and it turns out the real problem is they are severely depressed or manic depressive.
The fact that is a 'choice' to be obese tends to be a hell of a lot more complicated than you make it sound.

 

Let me start this off by saying I am a fat bastard.



With that being said you say that being morbidly obese is a choice. But let me tell you it is not a choice. There are medical conditions that you have to factor in there are many things to that effect. Am I to the point where I have to have a Mobility Scooter to get around no. I am 6 feet 2 inches 355 pounds. With that being said I have considered looking into the types of weight loss surgery meeting gastric bypass or the lap band and other different things I just have not chosen to do that yet made the choice not to it is still on the air you are correct when you say being fat as fuk is super unhealthy I will give you that because it is unhealthy. But sometimes people don't have in the matter sometimes it's jeans do you are born with

I used to always be the one in school that made fun of and picked on everyone else. Why did I do this? To be honest with you is because I had bad self esteem myself I found it easier to make fun of the or the ugly one then it was to face the reality that I myself was overweight. With that being said you don't have to respect people but that is what make different generations of people better or worse than others. You don't have to refrain from mocking them, but just remember what if that was your loved one but someone was making fun of or someone that you care about. How would you feel? How would you feel if it was your mom or your sister or your daughter? Think about things before you do them. Do I regret making fun of people and being a bully in school? Yes I do because I am sure I had a negative effect on their life. I am sure at some point in time and their life they have thought about the times that I made fun of them. Do people in the world that are fat like myself know that they are fat yes we know. But it does not make things any easier. So instead of fat shaming as you call it or making fun of someone how about you stop and think how you would want someone to react to someone you cared about. Think about what your mom would or your dad or whoever gave you morals in your life. How would they react would they be proud of you? Or will they be ashamed? We all have things in our life that are hidden from others what if something in your life come out and someone made fun of you for it how would that make you feel?

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This speaks to my point about not having the information at the ready to decide who is and isn't healthy. Carrying extra pounds is not in itself indicative of ill health.
I don't advocate for carrying extra weight but I've been plus-size on and off for decades. There were plenty of reasons why I first got fat as a child that were not strictly my choices. Let me break down a few.

At age six I moved from Ontario, Canada, where at the time statistically, there were nearly no fat people, to the United States, where we were becoming a fast-food, sedentary nation. I went from walking several miles per day to school, lunch bag in hand, to being bussed and eating cafeteria food. I gained weight. (But there were so many more TV channels in the US!)

The size acceptance movement goes back to the late 1960's but it wasn't until the popular use of the internet that many of us were even aware of it. I became a proponent of body size acceptance after I came out of a physically abusive marriage, having "armoured" myself with an additional 50 lbs. "Accepting" myself helped me hate myself less.

I suffered heart failure and nearly died in 1998 at the age of 38. I was diagnosed with idiopathic dilated cardiomyopathy. At my getting-to-know you appointment with my new cardiologist in November, I asked specifically if my weight impacted my health, if we could surmise that being fat contributed to the heart failure. All these years later, the answer is still "no." It surprised me because frankly, I was looking for encouragement to continue with the 70-lb post-heart failure weight loss. But nope, in my case it is not that simple. Instead, I look to my weight loss as a lucky by-product of now living in an environment where 85% of the days are sunny, where molds and mildew do not inflame my sinuses, where vegetables and fruits are plentiful and cheap, where being outside in January is the preferred place to be. In other words, I'm privileged.

Making blanket statements about a fat person--about any person--is probably ill-advised.

 

This is an issue I struggle with on a daily basis and I try to see both sides of the argument before I make judgements about people.

Backstory for those who don't follow me on my personal social media. I was skinny all my life. I got fat over the span of a few years of bad food choices. I lost all the weight I gained and got down to an underweight size with a little bit of extra muslce. In the process of a bulk/cut cycle to get myself to my ideal weight (I'm going to look like Captain America Post Serum).

For me, I'm proof fat shaming worked. At the height of my weight gain (187 lbs on a 5'5" frame [est. 35%-40%bf]), my mother fat shammed me. I "knew" that a ton of my health issues stemmed from my weight (acid reflux, IBS, heartburn), but it never "clicked" I needed to lose weight. When my mother finally fat shammed me, my brain went "I am a fat ass and I don't need to be". That next day I started on the diet and exercise path I am on today.

It makes me wonder sometimes that if my mother had not fat shammed me, would I had made this decision to change my lifestyle? My loving and supportive GF had been telling me in a nice way for years that I needed to change my diet. I blew her off so many times, it wasn't funny. I'm sure she almost gave up on me. It took someone calling me FAT to get it to register in my brain that I was fat and it wasn't healthy/normal (for me).

I will admit, when I see an obese or morbidity obese person, I instantly think they need to lose weight. Sometimes I even invent meal plans and low impact exercise routines for them in my mind. I try and remind myself I don't know them and I can't make snap judgement on them. It's hard because a part of me wants to help them. Show them that diet/exercise can be something that is done in steps and isn't just P90X/4 hour long Zumba classes with someone screaming at them while knocking food out of their hands. Being healthy doesn't mean you are on the cover of Shape/Cosmo/Bodybuilding mags, but just at a healthy weight for their frame.

I also have a huge problem with the fat acceptance movement. One hand, I fully agree there are society body types shoved down the throats of women in the form of ads, mags, TV, reality shows, ect. Not every women needs a thigh gap and a perfectly flat stomach with no visible stretch marks. If that is your goal, then good for you. Women come in all sorts of sizes and they shouldn't have to be a one sized fits all body type.

The other hand, I think it gives those people that are morbidity obese (or whatever term is used now-a-days) the option to say, "Fuck it, I'm going to be this weight forever, damn the health concerns". I can't stand seeing Tess Holliday and think that she is one of the worst people to be at the top of the HAES movement. I think she is a horrible spokesperson and also promotes an unhealthy lifestyle. I like Iskra lawrence over Tess Holliday, but even Iskra is coming under fire lately because she has lost weight and people are screaming at her because she is a HAES proponent and wants to lose weight.

So, yeah. Conflicted. I want nothing else to help people get healthier (in whatever form that is) and have often reached out to friends about it. I've signed two people up for the gym and shown them that exerise isn't just endless Zumbafuck classes. I feel better than I have ever felt in my life after I lost weight and I think if people could see how they will feel after weight loss, they would want to make a lifestyle change as well.

I want to leave my convoluted statement with my favorite weight loss story. Jesse Shand was a 650 pound "internet troll" and spent most of his days sitting on the couch playing video games and trolling online. He one day stopped by the bodybuilding.com forums and started trolling the forums. Instead of hate, he got support and ended up listening to them. This started him on his journey to lose over 300 pounds.

350 Pounds And Counting: Jesse Shand's Incredible Weight-Loss Journey


EDIT: I also want to say, I was on the male end of skinny-shamming for most of my life. If I had a dollar for every time I was told to "eat a sandwich", "You are toothpick thin" "Ewww, you are way to skinny to date" "If we fucked, I'd break you"... I could afford all the supplements I'd like to take. There is other sides to this but that's a whole other topic.

 

Fat Shaming, no not ever. I have always been HWP. Lucky or chemical, I don't know. My last few years have seen more pounds. However when I am engaged with someone it is my eyes or personality I am putting out there.I don't like being judged on my looks and therefore do not project that on to them during interaction. OBESITY is not attractive or sexually stimulating to me. That being said, people with a few extra pounds have been my lovers most of my life. It was the person I saw inside them that turned me on.

 

I too, have complicated feelings towards very large people. It brings up my own body shame.

Appearance is such a personal thing, discussing it can feel like tiptoeing around landmines.

 

What I could say has pretty much been said, so I'll keep it simple.

Are there morbidly obese people who eat too much crap food, and don't exercise? Yes.

Are there people who are morbidly obese because of physical and/or mental health issues, and/or genetics? Yes.

Even if you can tell the difference--yeah, right--you have no right to fat shame anyone.

 

In keeping with my previous post I was talking with one of the counselors about the subject and she said that a very high number of the obese woman she had come to her were victims of sexual abuse as children.
They used the food as a way of control that they didn't have otherwise.

So yeah, fat shaming sure as fuck isn't going to work in cases like that.

 

While I have never "fat shamed" anyone in public or at work, I do have big problems with the "obesity acceptance" movement and big is beautiful stuff. I do have a problem with workaholics who are obese, even if they are financially successful, I don't recognize it because they put money in front of their own health. And the poor people who are obese and are on disability or racking up medical bills are a big problem too because that impacts other people's taxes and premiums. The plus sized models that are size 16 or whatever aren't fat and aren't the issue. And getting offended by someone posting a video of an obese person getting towed isn't a problem either and people need to lighten up.

Now, yes, I think that medical researchers need to figure out if it is hormones, bacteria, genes, lack of nutrients, quantity of food, something in the food, or whatever is the cause of obesity. I'm in favor of taxes on soda, doughnuts, deep fried foods, and chips. The overweight kids should be put on diets and made to do cardio two times a day at school. Improve the food served at schools and teach kids how to grow food and cook it. Reduce the amount of Summer Break to make up the classes they missed if they are cheating at home and eating bad food. If it is a mental health thing, deal with it when they are young.

The thing is that there has been junk food for years and years. And buffetts and large portion sizes existed too. HFCS is a suspect, and so is increased screen time, but what else happened in the past 20 years that would make 15%-20%+ of the adults in the country gain so much weight?

 

Size acceptance is about accepting all sizes, from very thin to very fat. Sometimes, I like to remember my spouse's super-thin family and how hard the men in particular, struggled to gain weight and keep it on. We both struggled for decades striving for what we believed were better body types. I marvel at the emotion of some against fat folks but nothing against skinny people. It's all a choice, right? The value judgements boggle my mind. And the indignity. Of all the crimes one can commit against society, surely being a fat person is among the worst.

 

I recall the first time I ever heard of fat shaming: in 1997, when "Batman & Robin" was released, and the press made fun of Alicia Silverstone for having difficulty squeezing herself into her costume (they dubbed her "fatgirl".)

Of all the problems that movie had, Alicia Silverstone was not one of them. This is what she looked like in the film:


I honestly doubt any of her critics looked as nearly as good in form-fitting Spandex.

On an unrelated note, if such a superhero existed in real life, I would immediately declare myself a supervillain and move to whatever city she was operating in, just so she would chase me down. Of course, when she finally would catch up with me, there would be none of that fist-fighting "Boom", "Pow", "Crunch" nonsense, oh no!

I would insist she wrestle me down to the ground in order to slap those handcuffs on me.



...and only then, justice would be served.

 

One thing that's interesting about the fat acceptance movement is that it's only by and for women. Men are not accepted and are ridiculed. There are no fat man pinups or vargas style outfits. When Fam women show their men, they are inevitably skinny.

 

Sure and I had thought about how women have faced a lot more discrimination based on looks, no doubt about it. I have also to my knowledge not really been hit on because of my looks. It was the double standard I was pointing out. But it's true, I have not met a Fam woman personally, just a lot of noise on the Internet.
And it may be a thread bump, bit not much else is going on.

 

I must be in a sit-com, because I'm a fat guy with a hot wife. I also get no respect...