Cost of ownership: Vagina

Fun article. This post will generate some interesting conversation.

I'm following it along until we get to TP; I'm going to call bullshit on the higher toilet paper consumption.

Most women don't have backsides like a Wookie and thus don't suffer with having to push what resembles an MRE brownie through a Brillo pad.

Sure, they use a few squares to dab their seabiscuits whenever they wizziewinkle, but I've been known to kill half a roll in one s[h]itting.

 

Ditto what Plan9 said. Toilet paper practically disappears in a guy-occupied place.

 

Laughed hardest at the "feminine itching" part. News to me.
Ladies, is it really itchy on a regular basis?

 

_Chauvinistic "Free Drinks at the Bar" Compensation Joke_​

Hey-oh!​

...

Not vagina-related, but the lifetime cost of having to wear two pieces of underwear instead of one is a major downside of being female. As a guy into giving lingerie, brassieres are a really expensive girl-only item. The upside? SWEET, GLORIOUS, TRAFFIC-ACCIDENT-CAUSING BOOBS.

Office bras, sports bras, dress-up bras, sexytime bras, etc. Boku $$$.

...

Martian, I'd have to disagree with the condoms thing.

I've run into so many enlightened women that keep a stash in their underwear drawer because they know how ill-prepared non-playa guys can be (read: totally clueless). A surefire way for me to get laid back in the day would be to hit on a girl knowing full well that I didn't have a condom on my person or in my ride. By the time I've got a mouthful of boob, I'm realizing my self-cockblocking error and she's swooping in for the save with a Durex a week away from expiration. Alternatively, I've also been the guy buying condoms and half a gallon of skim milk at a pharmacy at 3 AM.

...

*odd tingle*

Why don't we have a "The Weirdest Person You've Ever Fucked" thread? Man, I've got some stupid stories.

 

Like where? New Jersey?

And I can't think of a single place on the female body where my penis doesn't belong.

Armpits, behind the knees, under the chin. I've done it all. Good times were had.

 

Having a wife and daughter, I know these bills. Ouch. Even though I love the ladies, I sure am glad to be a man.

 

But, the above list presupposes that said vagina owner is sexually active!

And doesn't BC also limit the number of periods? Or am I just talking way out of my zone here...:O

 

Vagina not in use? UTTERLY UNPOSSIBLE. If there is one thing I learned from serving in the US military...

True! The bone-destroying shot pretty much terminates stuck-pig syndrome. Pills like Seasonique make it, you guessed it, seasonal.

 

Uh, no.

I can vouch for the TP being double. My sister and I had that conversation once. She has 3 boys; I have 3 girls. Since we pee far more often than we, you know, it's at least twice the TP.

I haven't itemized the cost before, but it doesn't look outrageously far off. All things considered, though, they are kind of fun and I think I'll keep mine.

Any other ladies notice the OP forgot to mention batteries?

 

Batteries? Them things run on batteries? Maybe my wife's are probably just low. Gonna buy her some rechargeable lithium and sneak 'em in late at night. And then.... the sex. woot

 

Glad im a man...

 

Nor have we discussed the fact that there is not one man here who hasn't been owned by one of those things. they may be costly but they are also powerful.

Fear the vagina.

 

Become one with it